“Conversations With a Greedy Azz Kid”
((the phone rings))
Greedy Kid #1: Mom, you are sooo jealous of me right now.
Me: ((in sarcastic voice)) Why should I be? Because you’re working late and won’t be home till 10 tonight?
Greedy Kid #1: Nope. Because I’m eating a cheesecake right now.
Me: ((insert jealous feelings here)) We’ll you’re the one gaining calories, not me.
Greedy Kid #1: But I’m also gaining the tastiness of the cheesecake. It’s all rich and fluffy and delicious.
Me: ((hangs up phone until she gets the dial tone))
Children should not be able to flaunt their cheesecake unless the parent is within arms reach to take away their cheesecake and have it for themselves.
Bettah get it while its HOT! Deal ends on 9/23/11 at 11:59PM MST
Maybe I’ve been a little too hard on you lately. All this commanding you to push it and not make excuses for your lackadaisical side is really getting out of control. No?
So I want to make it up to you.
If you feel like all you’ve been doing is laying flat on your azz, do not fret…it’s just the Corpse Pose. Duh! You might think you’re not exercising, but the Corpse Pose is a very real fitness move. The proof of this claim is on instructional display at YogaJournal.com.
Fit Tip: Hold the Corpse Pose for a minimum of 30 to 90 minutes. Optional fitness tools to successfully hit this pose for such an extended and demanding length of time include a blanket, bed and lowly dimmed light bulb. This might be hard to do, but I’m counting on you to get through it. The sexy man right here holds the world record at Corpse Pose.
Aren’t you glad we had this conversation?