Ahh, yes. Bizarre-O-World beckoned yet again, so I returned to this freakish playground to bring back Slimming Soap, Breast Milk Cheese, and the Boneless Belt…..say whaaat?
(Real) Package Directions: "…apply the soap on the fat part and massage for 3 to 5 minutes…but be careful not to use on the breasts."
Too bad Australia's 2009 Miss Universe contestant didn't read the instructions. It looks like she smathered Slimming Soap on her whole body. Must be the bride of Skeletor.
Breast Milk Cheese
It's time to get your calcium! Too bad you already missed the April 2009 London art exhibit that served breast milk cheese, but you can still catch the Lactation Train and ride on over to the French farm, Le Petit Singly, for your very own stash. They've supposedly been milking the breasts of willing women for cheesy profit since 1947.
I couldn't top the guys over at InventorSpot.com who best summed up the miracle workings of this Japanese contraption…"the structure of the rubber belt is a large mesh grid that splits the dieter's belly, side and back fat into easily manageable blobs. This allows for increased metabolic consumption of calories and raises the propensity for increased blood flow values. More blood flow = more heat = more burning of fat."
What a scientific and totally believable explanation! But the real reason I give the Boneless Belt thumbs up is because "back fat" and "manageable blobs" are really cool phrases.