Yup. I took my tatas on a field trip to Victoria’s Secret. If my boobies still had some natural perk to them, I’m sure they would’ve cheered me on by boing-ing all over. Now they just kinda lay flat against my body like a day-old pancake. I actually had no idea about Matthew’s take on women’s lingerie until after I had made my cleavage-enhancing purchases. I think his opinion is neither good or bad. It just represents the reality of what most men likely think about it.
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Sure, you can get a bra anywhere, but my going the fancier Victoria’s Secret route had nothing to do with pleasing man. Rather, it had everything to do with this…
Parenting 4 kids ain’t easy. Somehow, during the course of all my mothering, I lost myself. It was a slow process of unintentional self-abandonment; a bunch of little things that added up, like not tweezing my brows anymore and shaving my legs less often. But at least the male Sasquatches were impressed (or is that Sasquatchi for plural?).
My wardrobe choices suffered as well. The once fashionable Josie was reduced to a woman who had holes in the bum of her loungy pants. That’s totally fine for couch-assing around the house, but those pants saw way too many trips to the grocery store before I realized the holes were even there.
Matthew has never been okay with this. He’s always encouraged me to take time for myself and treat myself well, yet I continued to throw my body onto the proverbial sword of self sacrifice for the good of my family: either I take care of myself or take care of family. There’s got to be a choice.
“You can’t do both, Josie. It’s too tiresome. It has to be one or the other.”
That was my mindset, so I dedicated my best energies to taking care of everything I loved and held dear, while myself as a priority was put in a choke hold and kicked to the way side. Way-way-wayyy to the side.
Although I’ve always managed to squeeze in 30 minutes of workout time in the morning to stay fit, everything else about my outward appearance mostly suffered. Despite my genuine happy-go-lucky nature, I’ve had my share of bad days and meltdowns.
The process of rediscovering myself was slow as well, yet I’m finally to the point where I no longer feel guilty for saying “no” when people are demanding more than I can give, or to even (temporarily) shut everything out so I can have a moment for me.
I schedule time for hair and nails (even if I have to do it myself), and I started wearing makeup again, too — but not because I need to; it just makes me feel good. (I use Bare Minerals, because their products are safer for our skin.)
And then last week, after an 8-year hiatus from shopping at Victoria’s Secret, I went back. I finally went baaaaack. As I walked through the mall and began to pass the store, I felt myself being drawn in, so I allowed the magnetism of Victoria’s Secret to have it’s way with me. After so many years of fighting the urge with excuses on why I didn’t need to any fancy lady-things, I went inside the store. The Target bra I was wearing was not pleased with this decision.
With my Republic of Tea in hand, and armed with my camera to capture a Victoria-bosom selfie, I documented a precious moment of making myself a priority. Did I need Victoria’s Secret to feel “worth it”. Nope. But it sure doesn’t hurt that the girls who helped me at the store (thank you Maggie and Jasmine!) made me feel like the center of the world. They made me feel like a queen!
And the bras…oh my goodness, the bras! They are the absolute best. Now that my tatas have gone back to being spoiled and pampered by Victoria’s Secret, I won’t have it any other way.
You should take your boobies on a field trip to Victoria’s Secret, too. Yeah, yeah. I know you can buy a bra anywhere, but I’m not trying to hear the same excuses I used to tell myself. Go in there and at least try on a bra. It promise you will feel like a gazillion dollar. But if not Victoria’s Secret, then do something else nice for yourself. Make sure it’s something absurdly unnecessary, yet totally wonderful with the one and only goal of pampering YOU. Why? Because you deserve it.