This disturbing list is forever incomplete and will never be final. The home workout drama for us mamas goes on and on and on….
- You pause your workout to put a load of clothes into the dryer. Why? Because ((insert person’s name here)) has no clean underwear and neither do you.
- You are accustomed to using human weights (aka, your kids) to do squats.
- You almost miss your workout because you’re too busy cleaning up last night’s mess. Mess = scattered books, crayons, clothes, shoes, unfinished art projects, homework, food-encrusted computer keyboard, etc.
- You do miss you workout because you’re child begged for morning snuggle time. It’s okay that you caved in, but now your kid won’t release their death grip.
- Your left dumbbell is missing (yes, the left one) and was last seen in the toy box…but it’s not in there anymore…of course not.
- You can barely get in a push-up without someone climbing on your back. You can barely get in a squat without someone perching under your legs like you’re a human fort.
- You can’t focus on your workout because your child decided to sit on the couch and watch you while giving a play-by-play soliloquy of yesterday’s Spongebob episode.
- You suck at your workout because your child is watching you again, and has determined that “you don’t work hard enough”. They can do much better.
- Your significant other slaps your booty during your workout. This makes you feel sexy. You’re about to smile, but then he proceeds to describe in horrific detail the fitness-stench emanating from your body. The kids agree with him. You stink.
A Yum Yucky short story. Read It Now