Who must I face slap for suggestionizing me to try this? (ohhh wait, that would be meeee). I’m a sucker for protein ingestion. Too bad I got sucked into the ghastly treat that is the Protein Squared Granola Oatmeal thingy.
If it’s two things this here Square tries to promote, it’s tolerance of the pure nastiness and civil rights of the gag reflex. But I refuse to vote for either. Much unlike what the packaging sold me, this thing contains NO chocolate squares and NO chunks of granola. Take a look at what I got instead…
Those cinnamon vein-tendrils on top look like something this chick sh!t out of her upper body. The yogurt-ish coating is an artificially flavored aargh. The alleged granola oatmeal experience is unrecognizable to the eyeballs, and the texture is a chewy paste to the food trap. Many protein bars are famous for a hellish experience that includes a dense, chalkiness with an unsettling aftertaste. The Protein Squared Granola Oatmeal thingy is no different.
So if you’re waiting in the checkout line for the person in front of you to finalize their extreme couponing whoredom with multiple packages of ExLax and Poise Pads, please don’t stare at the candy bar display and get bamboozled into the Protein Squared. You’d be better off with a package of Peanut M&M’s.
- Paid Paid: $1.49 for 2×2 inch square
- Serving size: one square thingy
- Calories: 140
- Fat Calories: 30
- Total Fat: 3.5g
- Sat. Fat: 2.5g
- Sodium: 120mg
- Carbs: 12g
- Fiber: 3g
- Sugars: 5g
- Sugar Alcohols: 2g
- Protein: 15g
Yum UP! to: Peanut M&Ms’. It’s been such a looong time!
Yuck Down to: False food packaging.