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She Fed Me Rat Salad

April 5, 2010 by yumyucky 22 Comments

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“She fed me Rat Salad”  ….that is what my child-spawn is about to tell you if his smart-azz keeps requesting it for dinner.

This is true, people.

The daycare lady is supposedly feeding Greedy Kid #3 Rat Salad for lunch. And now he wants me to make it at home. He is like a broken record, asking for Rat Salad all the damn time. Are my non-diseased meals not good enough for him? Must he want the infectious Rat instead?

So I wonder. What if I humor this whining child-spawn and really give him what he wants?

RAT SALAD – THE RECIPE

(warning: do not read this if your breakfast/lunch/dinner is NOT fully digested yet)

Ingredients:

1 freshly-trapped rat from the inner walls of my old apartment when I was 24.

2 large handfuls mildew-withered spring mix

1 rotten antelope egg, finely chopped

1/4 cup slimy carrot shavings

1 tbsp rancid Parmesan dust

3 plucked nose hairs from the snout of this man

1/4 cup regurgitated walnut pieces

1/2 cup feet-stomped tomato residue

3 cups boiled vinegar dressing

Directions:

Mix it all up and feed to your child. Purposely withhold barf bag and make him clean up his own mess.

——————-

You see that! My kids are spoiled. They get exactly what they ask for. Its Rat Salad for dinner.

Disclaimer: Rat Salad is NOT to be confused with the Rat Cakes that were for sale. They are actually very good.

[photo credit]

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Filed Under: Have a Laugh

Speak Your Mind!

  1. Heather (Heather's Dish) says

    April 5, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    yikes, rat salad? that’s quite the name for food!

    Reply
  2. Erin says

    April 5, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    😛

    Reply
  3. Trish @IamSucceeding says

    April 5, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    [email protected]! that is all

    Reply
  4. Jessica @ How Sweet says

    April 5, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Sweet! I want some rat salad.

    Reply
  5. Lisa says

    April 5, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    You have just enough ewwww and a bit of awesome to keep me coming back! See ya next time…

    Reply
  6. FatFighterTV says

    April 5, 2010 at 11:25 pm

    I am so confused!

    Reply
    • Josie says

      April 6, 2010 at 9:10 am

      Two words: Rat.Salad. <—why you be confused? Must I explain everythings!?!!?

      Reply
  7. Marisa says

    April 6, 2010 at 5:06 am

    Rat salad? What’s next! Sounds um… tasty….

    Reply
  8. Rog Law says

    April 6, 2010 at 7:43 am

    You need to hook Greedy Kid #3 with a hidden camera or something and get the real dope on this Rat Salad.

    Reply
    • Eunice says

      April 6, 2010 at 11:50 am

      Yes!

      Reply
  9. Steve says

    April 6, 2010 at 8:39 am

    Hmmm…I know what I’m making for dinner tonight! WooT!

    Reply
    • Josie says

      April 6, 2010 at 9:09 am

      so you can get to that freshly-dead rat trapped in my old wall?

      Reply
  10. Jody - Fit at 52 says

    April 6, 2010 at 9:55 am

    GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  11. Sagan says

    April 6, 2010 at 10:35 am

    I think I’ll pass on this one.

    Reply
  12. Nicole, RD says

    April 6, 2010 at 10:56 am

    Oh, Greedy #3…silly goose!

    Reply
  13. Anna from Boston says

    April 6, 2010 at 11:17 am

    You went to far with this one, friend.

    Reply
    • Josie says

      April 6, 2010 at 11:20 am

      eh, maybe. but my kid started it. he is to blame.

      Reply
  14. Eunice says

    April 6, 2010 at 11:39 am

    First of all, thank you for the dead rat pic. I especially like the blood oozing out of him. Second, I hope the day care lady isn’t actually feeding your Greedy Kid rats.

    I won’t even get started on those links.

    Another fine post, Yucky 🙂

    Reply
  15. Quix says

    April 6, 2010 at 11:46 am

    Hmmm, too many calories. Can I sub in rat lite instead? 🙂

    Reply
  16. love2eatinpa says

    April 6, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    lol! you have got to share this story with his daycare lady. she will get a kick out of it and then you can find out what she is really serving him. 🙂

    Reply
  17. workout mommy says

    April 6, 2010 at 1:39 pm

    YUM!

    i’ve got a backyard full of voles—maybe i can whip up some Vole salad instead?

    Reply
  18. Sparkina says

    April 10, 2010 at 3:50 am

    OK, now my face is totally green. I am sure your son’s daycare provider isn’t feeding your child rodent flesh. I don’t know exactly what rat salad is, but I kind of guess that the dubious-sounding dish of which your boy speaks is the kiddie-cookbook standby with the pear half and raisins and other fruits/veggies, made to look like a little mouse. Here’s a version.

    First place a lettuce leaf on the plate, then create this mouse
    Body: 1 canned pear half (narrow end is the head)
    Nose: small piece of cherry
    Eyes: 2 currants or raisin halves
    Ears: 2 marshmallow slices (easily cut with scissors)
    Tail: 1 green bean.

    Another version of this dish is as follows. Pear Mouse
    Canned pear halves transform into an edible mouse in this kid’s snack. Have the child place a pear half, flat side down, on a plate. The small end of the pear will serve as the mouse’s head. The child places two cloves in the small end to make the eyes and a raisin below the eyes for the nose. Use two banana slices for the ears. Carefully break a toothpick in half to hold the banana slices in place. Remove the toothpicks before eating the pear mouse.

    Reply

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Well, hello there.

cabbage head Hi! I'm Josie. This is where I share my passions for healthy living, natural health, fitness, and happiness. My goal is for you to be empowered and informed by what you read and learn here. I'm 44 years old and I love Jesus. I've been married to my husband for 13 years. I have 4 children (ages 24, 21, 12 and 8), and I'm also a grandmother to a sweet 2-year old little girl. I've lost over 40 pounds during my weight loss journey. I encourage you to stay empowered. Always keep your head up and stay strong! Meet Josie
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