Disclaimer: No giant lizards were harmed during the making of this blog post.

You know that bloated, stuffed up to your neck feeling? Ever get real greedy and wish you didn't do it?

Evil Fat Traps are lying in wait to seize the inside of your cranium and force you to eat up more food that your stomachs can handle.

Evil Fat Trap #1: The Buffet

Do you take your hungry chompers to the Buffet? If you know your brain is pre-programmed to fill endless plates to overflowing, don't even go there. The hungry buffet experience encourages "all you can eat". Last time I did this my stomachs were so packed I couldn't take a deep breath for hours. I'm a sucker for continental breakfast buffets with danish, bagels, muffins, and waffles. So, uh, I'm gonna stop talking about that right now 'lest I enter continental breakfast temptation. 

Evil Fat Trap #2: The Restaurant Menu

Ever plan to eat healthy at the restaurant, but then you fully gazed upon the menu? Your eyes glaze over with greediness and your heart rate increases. You end up ordering a stomach-heavy dish, like pasta alfredo, instead of the light & healthy seared tuna on a bed of baby greens. It takes practice to master this Fat Trap. I've had many, many do-overs, but only now am I getting the hang of it. Josie can kick Restaurant Menu's azz. And you?

Evil Fat Trap #3: FREE Food

Free food is fun. Office food, party food, free samples from the grocery store lady with hair net. If it's free, I'm game. Care to chew extra because you didn't have to pay for it? Somebody give me a do-over, QUICK! Fat Trap not yet mastered.

Are you a sucker for Evil Fat Traps? Is anyone 100% immune?

[photo credit]

Woo-hoo! It’s my birthday week!

Not only do I turn 37 on February 17th, but the Yum Yucky blog is now one year old!

….and that means double cake slices.

I’m totally over that horrific 10th birthday when no one showed up to the party. Yeah… nobody.

You are all here to celebrate with me now, so please accept the many virtual cakes slices I desire to feed your Food Trap. No calories included.

Josie appreciates you ALL; all of your awesome comments and friendly banter on Twitter and Facebook. I even uber-appreciate the silent lurkers who quietly visit every day.

I love you all. YOU cause Yum Yucky to thrive. YOU make this blogging thing fun.

Now please commence gnawing on cake slices. But make sure they don’t get caught in your face.

Never mind the crappy camera phone quality. Greedy Baby’s plastic-bowl-on-head snarkyness speaks loud and clear. She is the proud & official spokesperson for EVERYTHING that screws with your fitness routine.

Greedy Baby is a Time Squasher.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a Greedy Baby of your own. It’s whatever time-squashes your quest for fitness and tempts you to say, “to hell with it!” out of sheer frustration.

But be careful. Attempts to manage your Time Squashers to fit in fitness versus hanging on lazy excuses is totally different.

Josie’s (real) Time Squasher scenario:

Five-minutes into Josie’s morning workout, Greedy Baby wakes up way ahead of schedule with irritating shrieks and demands for juice. Josie should:

A) Ignore Baby ’cause it’s too early to be shrieking like that.

B) Tend to child’s needs & get back to exercising, even if there’s only 15 minutes to spare.

C) Say, “screw it!”, then bitch a lot and eat large cookies for snack.

D) Ditch the morning workout, then do something alternative, like office stairwell climbing.

If you picked A, B, C or D, Josie has done them all, but I only ignored the Shrieker for like 2 minutes. I swear it.

Choices B and D are obviously correct. Squeeze in the workout with what time you have or find another way to make it work. Still, some days it just doesn’t work out at all; there’s too much crap going on, and that’s normal, because that’s life.

Stay in control and manage your Time Squashers well. Otherwise, the Squashers will morph into lazy excuses you’ll rest your azz on.

As for those office stairwell steps, my all-time records is 1,082 steps climbed in one day.

Give us some tips. How do YOU manage your Time Squashers?

Luscious chocolatey sweetness with a salty pretzel crunch is supposed to be sinister. It’s suppose to make you need a do-over and wish you never inhaled the stuff. But this is a Special K Chocolatey Pretzel Bar. No do-overs required.

Who can find a stomach-happy dose of chocolatey pretzel taste for under 100 calories? Special K’s rendition is choco-crisp rice mingled with salty pretzel pieces on a bed of sweet chocolate love. It’s cheap on calories and high on flavor.

I was forced to eat three bars during making of this Taste Test. Umm, yeah.

Special K Chocolatey Pretzel Bars will NOT disappoint. They’re freakin’ delicious. Only downside, they’re causing my sales of Calorie Killer to plummet. Damn you, Special K!!

Chocolately Pretzel Notes

• Price Paid: $2.49 on sale for 6-pack
• Calories: 90 per bar
• Fat Calories: 20
• Total Fat: 2g
• Sodium: 120mg
• Carbs: 17g
• Fiber: less than 1g
• Sugars: 8g
• Protein: 1g

Reactions from the Taste Test Crew

Health-hater Husband: Yeah. You just found me a candy bar replacement.

Greedy Kid #1: Nope, ’cause I don’t like chocolate.<—she’s a lame-O

Greedy Kid #2: That thing is BUMP!<—Translation? it’s really good.

Greedy Kid #3: NO! Keep it away from me.

Yum UP! to: My Calorie Killer. Please buy some off me so I can get rich.

Yuck Down to: Error messages on the brain.

View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.

Never mind that I can eat the whole dang thing by myself. How can I
resist Flourless Chocolate Cake from Snack Girl?

It's way too smart.  

I notice a big difference in my supermodel bod when I refrain from a flour-ridden overdose. There's no bloating and I just feel better. Fourless Chocolate Cake from Snack Girl makes my greedy eyeball pop out.  

Snack Girl's Flourless Chocolate Cake
Serves 8 (285 calories per serving)

4 (1 ounce) squares semisweet chocolate
1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
3 eggs, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 300 F. Grease an 8 inch round cake pan and dust with cocoa powder. If you want to ensure the cake comes out then cut a circle of parchment paper for the bottom and grease and dust with cocoa powder. Put chocolate and butter in a metal or glass bowl over a pan of simmering water or use a double boiler to melt the chocolate and butter. The second the chocolate melts, remove from heat. Stir in sugar, cocoa powder, eggs, and vanilla. Pour into pan and bake for 30 minutes. If removing from pan, let cool in pan for 10 minutes and turn out onto wire rack.

Get more commentary on this greedy, lower calorie treat and other smart ways to snack right with Snack Girl.