But why not just buy a REAL Cinnabon and smash it flat with your azz? You can pour syrup on that… eh-em, I’m referring to the pancake. What you do with your azz is your own business.

The scary part is, I kinda like Cinnabon Pancakes, but in a “shame on me” kind of way. They’re not too shabby. They cook up nice (I used the oven) and aren’t all dried out begging for syrup if you choose not to smather. It goes down nice and smooth either way. ((gulp))

There are concentrations of brown spots where the cinnamon lives, just like in Cinnabon Cinnamon Bread. Chew on a brown spot and the cinnamon flavor punches you in the jaw. But chew on a spot with NO brown spots and it’s just a regular old pancake – but not a bad pancake.

They’re perfect for hungry weed smokers, loud-mouthed kids who can’t wait till dinner, and husbands who get re-hungry at midnight.

So you see that? Cinnabon pancakes serve important purposes.

PANCAKE NOTES

• Price Paid: $4.29 for 12 pancakes
• Serving Size: 3 pancakes
• Calories: 270 (or 90 calories for one)
• Fat Calories: 70
• Total Fat: 8g
• Sat. Fat: 1.5g
• Sodium: 480mg
• Carbs: 45g
• Fiber: 1g
• Sugars: 16g
• Protein: 5g

REACTIONS FROM THE TASTE TEST CREW

Health-hater Husband: There’s not enough cinnamon in this sh!t. It’s faint.

Greed Kid #1: You can only taste the cinnamon when you bite a brown spot.

Greedy Kid #3: This is good for a diet.

Yum UP! to: the disclaimer that I do not endorse weed smokers. I just acknowledge their existence.

Yuck Down to: azz syrup (however you may define it)

View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.

I was gonna use the Boobs Guy at first for free services, but decided to go traditional and fork out the $75 co-pay to the radiologist. Live Tweeting during the mammogram was considered, but I opted for streaming video. Did you see it?

My mammogram was routine. I’ve had the damn script in my wallet since January, but only now decided to get it done. I was given a clean bill of breast health after one round of pics. I was allowed to go home. But every other woman in that office was pulled to the side for additional breast-pictures, followed by closed-door conversations with the doctor. (yikes!)

From WebMD: Many small tumors can be seen on a mammogram before they can be felt by a woman or her health professional. Cancer is most easily treated and cured when it is discovered in an early stage. Mammograms do not prevent breast cancer or reduce a woman’s risk of developing cancer. But regular mammograms can reduce a woman’s risk of dying from breast cancer by detecting a cancer when it is more easily treated.

If you’re between the ages of 40-50 and care enough to exercise and eat right, you should also care enough to talk to your doctor about your next mammogram. I’m only 37, but there were risk factors involved. I had my first mammogram at the age of 28.

Do the cool thing. Go get your breasts smashed into a vice. But if you’re not quite 40 yet, do the next best thing. Go pester the older friends and family ladies that you love. Make sure they mammogram-it.

ka-BOOM!

(okay, that’s one word)

[photo]

I’m doing things a little different for you bossy types that want me to cut to the chase without a bunch of blah blah blah before I tell about the prize.

What Do I Win?

One win-thirsty winner will score $150 in FREE, customized vitaminID from Nature Made. That’s a hella good prize, m’kay? I already told you how they hooked up the Health-hater to get him to take vitamins. So then I went to the vitaminID website and took the survey for myself. But if you feel real smart and already know what vitamins you need, you don’t have to take the survey. Just browse the Build a Pack page and pick out what you want up to $150!

I asked vitaminID about survey results that recommend to many vitamins. Their answer made me feel really comfortable: “Some of the tablets are recommended based on ‘family history’, so they don’t necessarily mean you need them. Don’t feel the need to take everything. You know your body the best. Talk to your doctors and decide what works for you.”

See that! vitaminID cares for you like God cares for the unicorns.

What is this ‘Freebie for Everybody’ You Speak Of?

This Greedy Giveaway is no one trick pony, because everyone gets FREE telephone consultations with a vitaminID dietitian. No time limit, either. Call as many times as you need to blab and ask questions for as long as you want. No strings attached. You don’t even have to tell them your name.

I called the “Ask an Expert” hotline at vitamindID and disguised myself with an afro wig and hooker boots so they didn’t know it was the Yum Yucky. Expert Laura was kind enough to break down what I needed to know about free radicals. We also talked about Vitamins C, E and Super B Complex. Call their hotline at 1-877-272-MYID between 8am – 4pm PST.

“We don’t limit the time. It’s part of our mission to making vitamins easier to take,” is what they told me.

How Do I Win?

My Greedy Kid #1 is damn near a woman already. She wants to run away to college soon (eh, I guess I’ll let her), but will she be eating right for proper nutrition? Tell me who in your life could benefit from customized vitaminID, and why. Is it you? Your slacker neighbor? Your significant other? Your momma or your daddy?  Etc, etc.

Bonus Entries (optional)

Leave separate comments if you Twitter and/or Blog about the Giveaway using this link to the post: http://bit.ly/auvR8t

Stuff you should know: Your chance to win ends on 9/19/10. Winner announced soon. United States entries only. Totally null and void where prohibited. vitaminID is a sponsor of Yum Yucky.

Ready. Set. GO!

Sorry I don’t have exercise action photos just yet. This one right here (featuring Greedy Baby as an infant) is the best I can do right now to showcase the man on a mission.

He is my Health-hater Husband. And for two days in a row – count them! One…two. He’s been workin’ on his sexy and finally using the weight bench ‘n stuff that I bought him 4 years ago. It’s about damn time!

At 4am in the morning, he’s been bench pressing, doing abs, bulging out his biceps and exploring some cardio techniques he can commit to. The man has NOT exercised (until now) since before we got married, so he deserves some hand claps. But this is also encouragement to you.

Whoever that person is in your life that’s not healthy and bloating their body with overindulgence, keep on being a gentle example. Don’t force it. Don’t bitch about it. Just be an example.