Excuse me, but each one of those mancakes is like 2-inches thick.

(Mancakes, pancakes. Tomato, tomahhtoe)  …and this is a lunchtime meal. Who eats like this at lunch?

Welp, I suppose I can’t talk too much trash about the Health-hater Husband. He’s the mystery man in the pic. In his defense, the man is much more cooperative with the healthy meals I suggest. He’s slowly getting there. But let him off his food-leash, and mancakes is what happens.

So anyways, look what else happened…

…and this happened, too.

But do not fret. Justice got served.

“What began as a tasty meal of Corned Beef and Cabbage turned into one of the most renowned international headwear lines of all time.”

Don’t know how to Burpee yet? Then get with the Burpees Video Demo:

No pictures to show. Why? Because the damn cake is gone. It was Greedy Kid #1′s birthday. She’s 19 now. We had cake, of course. There was a rude conversation that took place two days later:

• Greedy Kid #1: I can’t believe all my birthday cake is gone.
  
• Me: Yeah, me either. That’s crazy.
• Greedy Kid #1: Why are you so surprised? You basically ate the whole thing.

((blank stare))

I Refuse To Be Blamed Because…

Reason #1: I only had 3 or 4 large slices, m’kay?

Reason #2: There was plenty of cake still there when I left the table (I think).

Reason #3: And it’s not like anyone else was trying to get a slice.

Reason #4: The cake was just sitting there, being ignored.

I am a victim of accusation. Whenever cake goes missing in the house, the finger gets pointed at me. Clearly for the reasons I set forth above, I am NOT the culprit of the cake that disappeared. But even if it was me (which it wasn’t), I carried Greedy Kid #1 for 18 long months inside the womb of life, and have the stretch marks to prove it. Doesn’t that entitle me to some cake, dammit!?

Okay, uh huh, yeah. That’s what I thought. Thanks for seeing things my way.