Easy Homemade Detox Tea

There’s probably gazillions of ways a homemade detox tea can be done. But when you’re short on time like I usually am? Let’s just keep it easy, my friends…

detox tea Easy Homemade Detox Tea

The thermos that I use is fancy. Don’t ya think??

Not only does lemon juice keep the body in an alkaline state to fight disease and prevent your body from becoming a living sewer, the other benefits of lemon water are pretty sa-weeet!

HOMEMADE DETOX TEA

  • Hot filtered water, cooled down to warm
  • 1/2 fresh squeezed lemon (adjust amount of lemon juice to taste)

I use this cheap & nifty citrus tool to squeeze my lemons, and a hot tea thermos Easy Homemade Detox Tea makes life easier when you’re on go. So ya, there’s no excuse for not detoxing the easy way.

To enjoy the tea most definitely, don’t sip on hot water. Waiting until it cools down to warm is best if you wanna slurp it in a state of relaxation and luxury. If you’re the kind of person who might drink this almost everyday, consider using a straw to eliminate the harshness of the lemon juice on your teeth’s enamel. M’kay?

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Intermittent Fasting Results: How It Works, and My Before & After Pics

January 13, 2014: Holiday eating had come to an end (burp). My workouts were strong and I felt great, but I hit a plateau and looked bloated.

March 3, 2014: These are the results after 8 weeks of intermittent fasting, coupled with short Tabata workouts for cardio and lifting heavier during strength training.

intermittent fasting Intermittent Fasting Results: How It Works, and My Before & After Pics

I shed 5 pounds that were previously stuck in cement and would not budge for months. I built muscle and saw abs progress. You would think that a greedy chick like me who, in the last 8 weeks, has gnawed on pizza every weekend, multiple Cinnabons (damn, they were good), birthday cake, pastries, food from ‘da hood, Alfredo pasta, ice cream, and carbtastic dinner rolls at every weekend restaurant outing — shouldn’t I be tipping the scales right now?

Nope. Not with intermittent fasting.

That right there paints a wonderfully tasty picture of what Intermittent Fasting is NOT:

  • It is not starving yourself.
  • It is not deprivation.
  • It’s not even reducing your daily caloric intake (if it was sensible to begin with)
  • It is not the elimination the treat meals. Hell naw!

Yep. You are fasting, yet still taking in the same amount of calories you normally would as if you weren’t fasting. If this sounds as frivolous as those mysterious dog turds that appeared in my front yard recently, then do not fret. I’ll break it all down for ya.

WHAT IS INTERMITTMENT FASTING?

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How to Feed a Child Cow Snacks

It’s time for an educational moment here on the blawg. This is the proper way to feed a young child Cow Snacks. The fact that we’re a bunch of barbarians up in this house is not up for debate.

Click here to watch in YouTube.

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Holla at me in the comments if you like Cow Snacks, too.

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Never in a gazillion years will you see this again.

First, there was dinner: Thai salad with chicken. Then it was Froot Loops for dessert. Yup. But never in a gazillion years will this come out of a cereal box again…

fruit loop Never in a gazillion years will you see this again.

It’s the most interestingly-shaped Froot Loop ever produced at a cereal factory on the planet. This specimen is one of a kind. What a fascinating, oblong shape. Yes?

The ‘Loop is about an inch long. If you look real close you will notice the face of the Virgin Mary on the left, as well as the thumbprint of Elvis on top.

I could fetch a high dollar price for this mutant ‘Loop on Ebay — enough to pay off my mortgage ‘n stuff. But instead, I did the more logical-sensible thing?

I ate it.

I basically ate the payoff monies for my mortgage. Damn.

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The Roach Motel of Home Fitness

roach motel The Roach Motel of Home Fitnessputrid cockroach image via Wikipedia creative commons

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Back in the day when I was young, dumb, on my own, broke as hell, and living in a rickety-ass apartment that literally had a hole in the wall…. I bought a can of green beans from the ghetto grocery store.

Got home. Grabbed my can opener. Opened the can.

And what did I behold?

There was a dead roach trapped inside from canning at the green bean factory. He had been in the can for so long, his body turned green, same color as the beans.

And you know what?

I was so hungry, I just picked that roach right out the can and ate the green beans anyways. Didn’t even think twice about it (I know. Gross, right?). The upside is that I lived to tell the tale and did not contract some sort of flesh eating roach disease. The green bean juice must’ve purified the contamination. Yes?

CHILLIN’ IN THE ROACH MOTEL

Now I know the mention of a roach motel may not seem like a savory subject, but home fitness can be much like the story I just told. The Roach Motel of Home Fitness is the spirit of making due with what you’ve got to make fitness happen despite any limitations. Accomplishing a workout in the roach motel is much better than doing nothing at all.

Ain’t got no fancy gym equipment? Think you need to have X, Y and Z before getting serious about transforming your body?

Nope. WRONG!

The beautiful thing about Roach Motel status is that it’s usually only temporary. The accommodations can slowly morph into the palatial estate of home fitness you’ve always wanted if you make that a goal.

I remember starting out at home with only a pair of 5 and 8-lb weights and a few fitness DVDs. That’s it. I built my home workout arsenal slowly and, although I’m still building it today, I’m pretty pleased with the home workout tools I’ve amassed so far. But it took time! I finally have my “palace”.

ROACH MOTEL NINJA MOVES

If you don’t have extra money right now for a full workout system or a certain piece of equipment you really want (Kettlebells are expensive), you have alternatives to get in an epic workout anyhow.

Chillin’ in the Roach Motel doesn’t mean you have to live in fitness-squalor. Make due with what you have and keep it movin’. So long as you have the ability to move your body and the will to get yo’ ass up & active, that’s all you need to get fit. The fancier stuff will come in time.

  • If you don’t have a speed rope, use your “invisible” rope instead.
  • No kettlebell? Then swing a dumbbell. M’kay?
  • Got physical limitations? Don’t abandon the entire workout — improvise & modify the moves!
  • Don’t have cash to be sinking into popular (freaking expensive!) fitness programs? Then lurk on Youtube and find some free workouts.

I’m not just blowing hot air when I say this. I’ve done all of the above at one time or another.

There is always a way. There is never NOT a way. If you truly, for-realz, honestly can’t workout because the dog ate your sports bra or your ingrown toenail is squirting out pus, you still have the ability to control your eating. Diet is more than half the battle anyways. But please refrain from slurping on canned roach juice if you can.

So tell me… ever done your workout at the roach motel? Or have you always had super-fancy workout accommodations?

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Disclaimer: Not all exercise programs are suitable for everyone. Check with your doctor before beginning any exercise program. Neither Josie, YumYucky.com, nor anyone else associated with this website will be responsible or liable for any injury you sustain while exercising.