.

…but before we get into this round of featured Food Trap selections, I first need to bitch to you excessively about the Attune Mint Chocolate Probiotic Bar. I drove 35 freaking miles round trip because the Attune store locator said the Bar was carried at this hippie-ish natural food store that’s real out of the way ‘n such. So I drive really far (on my lunch break, at that) and the store doesn’t have the damn Bars. Attune Chocolate is highly delicious and probiotically beneficial. I’ve been wanting another taste for close to a year now, but I’m done searching high and low, and racking up vehicle mileage in an expedition to find this elusive bionic chocolate bar. Yes, you can order it online, but you also have to pay a premium for heat-sensitive shipping. I’m too cheap for that. Oh, and somebody owes me gas money.

Zevia Ginger Ale Natural Soda: Lemme just break it down to you like it says on the can: “Zevia contains no sugar and no calories. It’s made with 100% natural ingredients, including Stevia, a botanical sweetener used around the world for hundreds of years. It’s what soda should always have been.” Nice! It also contains the sugar alcohol erythritol, which doesn’t effect blood sugar and is no big deal to me (unless you get gassy from it). Zevia is decent tasting. It reminds me of store brand ginger ale — not terrible but not the #1 best ginger ale either. I detected a slight aftertaste after slurping a few gulps, but still definitely worth trying if you can find it at the store. I also peeped Cola, Orange and Grape flavors of Zevia.

No caffeine, no gluten, zero net carbs. Zero calories and fat, Sodium 20mg, Sugars 0, Erythritol 7g, Protein 0g

Barbara’s Baked Cheese Puffs: It’s a cheese puff. How fancy could it be? Welp, the natural cheesiness really shines through. And it’s made with cornmeal, which gives it a pleasant texture and taste that’s NOT like the others. Consider it a healthier side item to eat alongside a sammich or while couch-assing. Barbara’s Baked Cheese Puffs have no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives, and no hydrogenated oils either, so it empowers you to get puffy with no guilt. Unfortunately, I allowed Greedy Kid #3 to run off with the bag after dinner. I trusted him. But by bed time the whole dang thing was empty. Yes, I’m a terrible mother for insufficiently monitoring the child’s greediness. Just go on and say it, why don’t ya.

150 Cal for 1.5 cups, Fat Cal 90, Total Fat 10g, Sodium 200mg, Carbs 14g, Fiber 1g, Sugars 1g, Protein 2g

Quaker Hearts Cereal: This one can be accurately described as “fake Alpha-Bit’s cereal for grown-ass folks and kids who eat too much damn sugary shit”. It has pretty much the same feel, size and visual texture of the infamous Alpha-Bit, but with a tad less sugar and shaped like little hearts instead of bits of broken off vocabulary pieces. The taste is highly Alpha-Bitsy with the perfect low-key touch of sweetness to encourage continued cereal whoredom to prevail. I freaking love it, but still not able to find Hearts Cereal consistently stocked at every store I lurk at. That’s a low down dirty shame.

110 Cal for 3/4 cup, Fat Cal 15, Total Fat 1.5g, Sodium 160mg, Carbs 23g, Fiber 3g, Sugars 6g, Protein 2g

Well that’s it for now, so go on and start chewing on something. I’m really liking this new Put It In Your Food Trap feature. Definitely more to come!

Oh, and one more thing: Diets In Review just did an article reviewing the meal planning site, FoodOnTheTable.com. There’s a few quotes from me about the usefulness of Food On The Table, so check out the article to see if it’s something that might be helpful in your own meal planning.

She’s getting older, isn’t she? Greedy Baby is 3 now. I started blogging when she was only 12-weeks-old. And it seems like just yesterday she looked like this.

But, yes, of course. I do have the special powers to say “no” to this gremlin. I certainly don’t take too kindly to threats of, “I won’t give you hugs anymore if you don’t give me another juice box.”

I didn’t cave into that frivolous hogwash. “You gets no more juice boxes!”

Even the greedy chilldrens (yes, I said “chilldrens”) require portion control.

Let’s get to the pics first! Scroll through to see how far she’s come.

Lookin’ good, girl!

Hannah recently returned from frolicking in MEXICO in that two-piece! Here’s what she shared about her progress before she left for her trip…

Monday, Dec 26th 2011: The front view is my favorite! I gaze at it each morning while I’m getting ready. It is just what I wanted. The side view shows the swelling I’ve been telling you about. You can see how it protrudes. I can “suck it in” a little. I know that getting back to running, Shaun T, and ab exercises will help to fix that. I’ll be whining to the doctor about the swelling on Wednesday. My tummy is hard! When I make people touch it, I’ve had comments like “that feels like a pregnant belly”. I’m sure I wasn’t mentally prepared for this swelling. I will report later on the doctor’s observations. I’m wearing one of the swimsuits I bought for my upcoming trip to Mexico. I’m very, very pleased with how it fits and looks.

Monday, Jan 2nd 2012 (Day 41): I’m already packed (for Mexico)! I went to the doctor Wednesday. She released me for all exercise. Then I said, “Abs too?” And she said, “Not yet… Listen to your body. You won’t want to do abs.” She’s right. Ab exercises don’t hurt but it feels like there’s a blank spot there and I have no strength. For instance, if I’m laying flat on my back (like in the bad, bad tanning bed) it is hard to get up! So I’ll ease into that. Then I showed her some Insanity exercises and she said “Listen to your body. Do what feels comfortable”. But I can run on the treadmill!!! The day before my surgery I did 3.5 miles in 40:07. Today I walked 2 and jogged 2 minutes. I did 2.96 miles in 40:00. I feel good about that. I should quit complaining about the swelling. It is getting better every day. Plus I am so pleased to gaze upon my tummy every day. I stand there in my bra and panties fixing my hair and just admire and smile. Oh and one more thing. I still weigh 138. With reduced activity and the holidays, I feel like that is an accomplishment, too.

I can’t tell you how happy I am for Hannah. We can expect at least one more update on her progress at around 12 weeks post-surgery (the official finish line for healing). If you’re new to Hannah’s journey, catch up on her pre-surgery and day 5 and day 18 updates.

Hey guys. How the hells are ya?! Just thought I’d share a glimpse of my daily eats for today. This is what’s on my menu for chewing. It’s a peek into the foods I eat that help me be all sexy ‘n stuff.

THE FOODS GOING INTO JOSIE’S STOMACHS TODAY

(…and please don’t get it twisted. I do, in fact, have two stomachs: One for normal eating, and a back up chamber for increased food-storage of the extra delicious kind).

Breakfast was: Fresh fruit (strawberries, blueberries and cantaloupe) mixed with homemade yogurt bought from the Amish peoples. No Shakeology this morning because my butt was running late. Dammit! 

Mid-morning snack: Clementine

Lunch: Brown rice & steamed broccoli, plus a chicken Caesar side salad.

Mid-afternoon snacking: Cup of Bigelow Mint Green tea (very flavorful) sweetened with Stevia and a Kelloog’s Fiber Plus Bar (their Dark Chocolate Almond is pretty tasty).

After work snacking: Handful of cashews and some more Mint Green tea.

Dinner: Homemade turkey burger made with recently killed meat (gasp!) from the Amish market, plus some fresh baked, homemade sweet potato chips.

Evening snacking: Cup of coffee with light cream and NO sweetener (yep). Oh, and the evening cereal whoredom shall continue. Gonna have me a bowl or two.

So you see, I’ve got my fruits, veggies, protein, and whole grains with very minimal carbs and dairy products (because that stuff bloats me), and barely any fats. Except for my I-didn’t-get-my-Shakeology-today snafu, all my other meals for today were planned ahead of time.

Make sure you are planning ahead as well. It’s going to set you up for fitness success and reduce your chances of veering into a food ditch filled with all kinds of delectable high calorie treats that were never supposed to be on your menu.

Have a great day!