Today I forced myself to drink a morning cup of coffee. Why? I wanted to be fancy and increase my “me time” ratio by doing something self-centered, yet acceptable: cuddle up with a morning cup of Joe and pause to experience tranquility. I held the cup to feel its warmth on my hands and then breathed the caffeinated aromas into my nostrils. Ahhh! Besides going for fancy, I was also interested in how morning coffee might increase my already high levels of morning energy, thanks to my 6am workouts and Shakeology gulping.

But you know what? I’m a nighttime coffee person (yup), not a morning one. What hell am I doing? I don’t need the stuff in the a.m.! ((pours coffee down the drain))

This makes me wonder how many morning exercise peoples really drink or even need a morning cup of coffee. Do YOU?

For the last few weeks I’ve been paying close attention to my post-workout endorphin rush. This endorphinification appears to reach its highest peak about 2 hours AFTER I finish my workout: around 9am. This is when I am most euphoric and think with the clearest clarity. The endorphins go on this way for a few hours – it’s during this daily time frame that everything is most right in my world. Then after a few hours I get “normal” again: possibly semi-bitchy and 25-50% life-stressed.

Have you ever thought about how exercise affects your mood? In a time when so many people are popping pills to calm the hell down, de-stress, and think straight, don’t they just need some exercise?

Although pharmaceuticals definitely have their place in this world, our bodies didn’t come pre-programmed to need a pill for every little problem. Why are synthesized medicinals the first answer for minor problems instead of natural remedies? Maybe the bitchy-stressed people just need more exercise in their life.

I dunno. Whatcha think?

Who must I face slap for suggestionizing me to try this? (ohhh wait, that would be meeee). I’m a sucker for protein ingestion. Too bad I got sucked into the ghastly treat that is the Protein Squared Granola Oatmeal thingy.

If it’s two things this here Square tries to promote, it’s tolerance of the pure nastiness and civil rights of the gag reflex. But I refuse to vote for either. Much unlike what the packaging sold me, this thing contains NO chocolate squares and NO chunks of granola. Take a look at what I got instead…

What ‘da hell?

Those cinnamon vein-tendrils on top look like something this chick sh!t out of her upper body. The yogurt-ish coating is an artificially flavored aargh. The alleged granola oatmeal experience is unrecognizable to the eyeballs, and the texture is a chewy paste to the food trap. Many protein bars are famous for a hellish experience that includes a dense, chalkiness with an unsettling aftertaste. The Protein Squared Granola Oatmeal thingy is no different.

So if you’re waiting in the checkout line for the person in front of you to finalize their extreme couponing whoredom with multiple packages of ExLax and Poise Pads, please don’t stare at the candy bar display and get bamboozled into the Protein Squared. You’d be better off with a package of Peanut M&M’s.

SQUARED NOTES

• Paid Paid: $1.49 for 2×2 inch square
• Serving size: one square thingy
• Calories: 140
• Fat Calories: 30
• Total Fat: 3.5g
• Sat. Fat: 2.5g
• Sodium: 120mg
• Carbs: 12g
• Fiber: 3g
• Sugars: 5g
• Sugar Alcohols: 2g
• Protein: 15g

Yum UP! to: Peanut M&Ms’. It’s been such a looong time!

Yuck Down to: False food packaging.

View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.

Me, after Insanity. Not sure how I was able to crack a smile. LOL!

Depending on when you started with us, you are now either one month into the Finish What You Started Challenge, or you’re just now joining in and ready to ROAR! (and a big ‘ole hello to all of our newest participants!)

The Challenge ends on October 31st, so you’ve got two more months to reach your goal, or, for you long term goal peeps, the Challenge is for you to remain consistent and end the cycle of stopping and re-starting with what you intend to Finish. Right?

(Download and view Week #5′s message on the Star System Tracking Chart.)

This is your assignment for this week to earn 3 bonus stars for a total of 31 maximum for the week! 28 stars + 3 bonus stars = 31

• Earn one bonus star gnawing on 3 or more salads.
• Earn 2nd bonus star for continuing with your pushups. I really wanna see you guys be able to celebrate some big time push ups progress when this is all over!
• Earn 3rd bonus star by evaluating what you’ve done since the Challenge began – a positive, honest critique of yourself (not self-judgement that brings guilt) – and then make any tweaks to your fitness and eating routines as necessary.

More On Evaluating Your Current Progress And Taking An Honest Look At What You’ve Done So Far

Okay, okay, I’ll go first so you can see how this is done….

Fitness: You probably already know I’m doing Insanity (it’s in my Beachbody shop), but the workout calendar is very rigorous. Maybe a bit too rigorous sometimes. It’s delivering quick results as promised (big time results!), but it can also be physically and mentally challenge to the point where the urge to quit pop ups in my brain a little too often. Noooo!!! So in order to prevent those urges to quit completely, I recently decided to do Insanity every other day (with a different workout in between) instead of two Insanity days back to back. This fitness critique/tweak means it will take me longer to complete the entire program (boo), BUT it’s working out better for me, because it’s eliminated my urge to quit completely, AND I discovered that a rest day in between Insane workouts actually enables me to perform at a high level and push harder on my Insanity days.

Eating: It sucks sometimes. Usually when I’m bored. I don’t get bored that often because of my happy-crazy-busy life, but when boredom does creep up, I’m capable of downing a whole day’s worth of calories before noon. Oh, hell no! So how do I fix this? I’ve decided to plan/pack food even when I’m home from work on the weekends. WeekDAY food planning has always worked for me at about a 95% success rate, so why do I abandon this concept on the weekends? No more weekend self-sabotage for me. The majority of my weekend eating will be planned ahead of time from now on, as much as possible. If I get bored and want to chew, my food selections will already be pre-determined.

These self-critiques did not reveal that I’m a loser. They do not prove that I can’t stick to a plan. It does not mean that I have to abandon all. It simply reveals that my plan needed tweaking.

So do you see how this works? Now it’s your turn. Go grabs your stars and make it a great week!

Dear Skinny Bitches,

Hey, gurrrls! How you doooin’? Now please don’t get bent outta shape. You should know damn well I’m not a hater. I use that term bitch in a comradery-friendly kinda way, as in “Where are all my bitches at!?” Okay? Now for the sake of this here letter, I consider all you skinny bitches to be lumped in one of two categories:

Skinny Bitch #1) the bitch who cares about her health, works on her fitness and chews on good meals while keeping the sweets and other junk food shenanigans (and alcoholic beverages) to a decent minimum. She is not just slim; she’s also toned, has physical strength, and is healthy on the inside.

Skinny Bitch #2) this bitch takes her slim physique for granted like she’s aesthetically invincible for all time. It’s not that she doesn’t care about her health – she just doesn’t think much about it. And why should she? She eats like sh!t but can still throw on a bikini or skinny jeans with absolutely zero fatty interference. But little does this bitch know, her habits are gonna catch up to her. She could be pimp slapped with a muffin top at any point in time.

I used to be Skinny Bitch #2, so I’m in no way judging you. This is more of a go-tell-it-on-the-mountain and scream it loud throughout all of Slimville that your skinny-bitching may not last if you don’t do something about it right now. I’m writing to encourage you to savor what you have while creating good habits to help maintain your Bitchdom even after you (maybe) get knocked up or just get older and have to fight a slowing metabolism. If that happens, first comes the stomach, then the thighs and ass might start to spread. That’s exactly what happened to me. Why? Because I ignored anything and everything that had to do with living a healthy lifestyle. Dammit!

Oh, my dear Skinny Bitches. It is easier to maintain what you have right now rather than have to work really hard to reclaim it. And let me tell ya, if you have to work to get it back, it NEVER ends up looking quite the same as when you had it the first time around – especially when you’re older. So just appreciate what you have and care for your body from the inside out. Don’t ignore a healthy lifestyle just because your ass is skinny right now. If you do not heed my warnings, you’re gonna be saying, Woe is me! Gone are the slim days that I took for granted when I was eating bacon cheeseburgers and curly fries in my size 4 jeans.

Now get back out there and keep enjoying what you’ve got, bitches. Just be smarter about it from now on.

Love,

Josie

…because I’m asking for your vote, but ONLY if you’re not too busy and you feel like I deserve it. I won’t force you with the combination head-lock-titty-twister-submission move.

So what’s this all about?

I’ve been nominated by Mamavation as a Top 50 Most Inspirational Healthy Tweep. If you’re on Twitter (and even if you’re not), if I’ve inspired you to live a healthier life, won’t you vote for me? It’s one-click voting, so don’t worry about being forced to sign up or log into anything.

Just go to this page, scroll down, and cast your vote for @YumYucky and any anyone else on the list (up to 10 people) who have inspired you. #thankyouverymuch

And now in other news… what the hell is this? What da fluck kind of bugs are cooking in this pot?  Gah!

((insert belly-barfing here))