…but first, the time line of historical pizza-problems that led up to the need for serious change:

1987 (age 14): I was eating an average 8 slices of Domino’s Pizza every Friday with no weight gain.

1989 – 2003: I barely ate pizza at all, so no problem.

2004: My pizza addiction began. I ate an average 6 slices of takeout pizza every Friday night (plus everyone’s leftover crust) — the greasy kind made by pizza employee Joe Schmoe, who probably scratched his balls with his bare hand before prepping my order.

2004 – 2010: I gained weight, then lost weight (yay!), but STILL had a pizza-eating problem. My fitness progress was there, but slow going.

Early 2011: I decided that enough was enough. I was sick and tired of being controlled by my addiction (I call it that now, but didn’t recognize it as addiction at the time), and slowly reduced my Friday pizza-eating from 6 slices down to 2. I also identified other greedy carb overloads and reduced or eliminated them all together (good-bye entire loaves of french bread thickly smathered in butter). All of this took me many months to master.

2012: I’m through with takeout pizza forever, yet I still love pizza and see no need to give it up. I simply choose to re-define the meaning of Pizza Night to ensure my body transformation continues.

THIS was my dinner tonight…

My homemade pizza (before baking).

Fresh ingredients included: spinach, plum tomatoes and onions, plus basil, other Italian seasonings, and easy on the cheese. My homemade pizza was less expensive than takeout and definitely less calories, while bigger on taste and satisfaction. And did I mention zero guilt?

My pizza after baking.

There’s no reason to give up the foods you love. Simply scale back if that works for you. But as for me and pizza? That called for a totally new definition of what Pizza Night means to me.

Joe Schmoe is no longer taking my orders. No more delivery of greasy pizzas to my door. I’m making the damn pizza myself. Because it’s just better that way. ((burp))

Me: ((in sarcastic, smart-ass voice)) Yeah! Do your job and light that fireplace.

Health-hater: I am doing my job. And what the hell are YOU doing?

Me: ((no response))

Husband: Oh, that’s right. You ARE doing your job. You’re laying on the couch.

Me: ((no response))

—-

How am I supposed to respond to that? Couch-assing is definitely my job.

Hell yes. This is my own creation. It’s one of the most delectable, low calorie homemade treats to ever connect with my food trap. Here’s the final creation, but let’s rewind the recipe so you can see how it’s made.

There’s no baking involved and it’s literally ready in minutes. I constructed my cake within a wine glass, because I’m fancy like that. I can sense that you’re the fancy type, too.

There are only 3 ingredients:

1) Angel Food Cake: This type of cake contains about 72 calories per 1/12 slice. It’s main ingredient is egg whites and contains NO butter, with minimal sugar compared to other kinds of cake. You can usually grab an Angel Food Cake in your grocer’s bakery department for cheap (about $4 to $5).

2) Fresh Strawberries: Do NOT buy frozen. Snag some fresh Driscoll’s strawberries if you can. Driscoll’s has never done me wrong. Always fresh, always the tastiest.

3) Strawberry Yogurt: The yogurt I used was brought fresh from the Amish peoples, but Chobani Greek Strawberry yogurt will do just fine as well.

Slice about 1.5 cups strawberries and cube about 1.5 cups Angel Food Cake.

Construct your cake within the glass by layering the 3 ingredients in this order:

• 1-2 dollops of strawberry yogurt
• Angel Food cubes
• Strawberry slices

Then repeat the layers.

The final product delivers moist, spongy cubes of Angel Food decadence accented by fresh berries and yogurt that mimics a real, high calorie Strawberry Shortcake. The ingredients are a heavenly trio that were meant to be together. The greedy side of your brain will think you’re snacking on a sinister no-no, but a generous portion of So Delicious Strawberry Shortcake with its healthy benefits will only run you an estimated 300 calories.

I ate a glass of cake today and I’ll be damned if I don’t eat me another glass next weekend. Won’t you do the same?

If you’re inspired by the idea of delectable recipes containing fresh berries, then make Driscoll’s berry recipes and ideas your next interwebs destination.

In the spirit of kicking much booty and putting in the work to claim the body transformation you thirst for, welcome Shaun T’s Insanity Fast And Furious. I partnered with Yahoo! Shine as a Yahoo! Get It Guide Insider to share my thoughts on this 20-minute workout and offer you bad-asses the chance to win it for yourself. (Giveaway at the end of this post.)

I started doing Insanity last year. It’s the workout style I prefer most: high intensity in short time with maximum effort and maximum sweat for maximum results. It works for me. This is how I roll.

Equipment Needed: Your body, bottle of water, towel, mental toughness.

The Warm Up: Even the warm up is a little bit insane, so my advice is to allot 2-3 minutes for your own pre-warm-up time before you pop in the DVD. Because once you do, you’re headed right into a brisk jog in place, and the warm up only goes higher from there. Immediately following the warm up you’ll go into generous stretch that feels Oooo-ahhh-amazing.

Crux of the Workout: Delivering fantastic cueing with constant reminders to “keep good form” and “keep your core tight”, you’re in for one helluva ride, people. If you think 20-minutes is no big deal, just consider the plyometric-palooza that includes moves like high knee jog, moving push-ups, diamond jumps, mountain climbers, burpee push-up jacks, plank holds, and fast football feet, all set to epic rocker music. The fatty parts will begin to melt as you simultaneously build muscle. Your body WILL be changed. Isn’t that what you want?

Shaun T specifically cautions you to stay at your own pace and know your limits, so if you’re worried about not keeping up, just stop that right now. Even Shaun and his workout peeps in the background are taking unscheduled mini-breaks and scraping themselves up off the floor. Then it’s time to s-t-r-e-t-c-h.

This program is NOT for beginners or anyone with troubled knees, ankles, heart problems, whimpy attitude, etc. If you lack mental fortitude, you either need to go get some before doing this program or use Insanity Fast and Furious to start developing mental fortitude right now.

“I’m just a tool to get you to where you need to be. If you don’t wanna go there, that’s on you.” ~ Shaun T

Insanity Fast and Furious is a-buzz on the Yahoo! Shine Get It Guide

The Giveaway: Leave a comment and tell me why you’re bad ass. No, really. I wanna know how you’re pushing daily to achieve your fitness goals.

Your chance to win ends Tuesday, 1/24/12. Winner announced later this week. United States entries only. Totally null and void where prohibited.

Ready? Set. Get Insane!