Yum Yucky

"Tasting!" POST Vanilla Almond Shredded Wheat

November 23, 2009 By yumyucky 30 Comments

“This is how Josie feels about it.”

Shredded Wheat is old news so I don’t care about that part. This has everything to do with POST’s flavor infusion of Vanilla Almond into the Spongebob-shaped shreds.

Open the box and the Vanilla aroma will smack you silly. That’s a good or bad thing depending what you like, but for me, it was bad. Yet I was half-way entertained by the presentation of vanilla bean specks (that look like pepper) and crushed almond flecks that infest these fibrous pillows.

Unfortunately, the cereal should be renamed “Vanilla Vanilla Shredded Wheat” because my taste buds detect zero almond flavor. Vanilla overload makes for an angry Almond.

Whole grain goodness is the main ingredient, but sugar comes in second. It’s way too sweet; the cheap kind of sweet that is rude, abnoxious, and sends you reeling in horror (see Freaked-out Spongebob above).

Most healthy people who tame their taste buds to resist sugary crap for breakfast will not be pleased. I equate Vanilla Almond Shredded Wheat to the sprinkling of some excessive Vanilla and tasteless Almond flavor into a bowl of Capt’n Crunch or Honey Combs. Same difference, except without the 5 grams of fiber.

I was hungry when I ate this, but I didn’t finish the bowl. I just couldn’t do it. And for the record, the Taste Test Crew totally disagrees with my assessment.

Eh, so what.

Vanilla Almond Notes

Price Paid: $4.59 for 19.5 ounces
Servings Size: 1 cup
Calories: 190
Fat Calories: 10
Total Fat: 1.5g
Sodium: 45mg
Carbs: 43g
Fiber: 5g
Sugars: 11g
Other Carbs: 27g (but what he heck are “other carbs”?)
Protein: 4g

Reactions from the Taste Test Crew

Health-hater Husband: It’s like sweetened Triscuits with nutty-ness.

Greedy Kid #1: Mmm. Nice and sweet.

Greedy Kid #2: I like it, but I don’t know why. (Huh?)

Yum UP! to: Capt’n Crunch: the better choice uber-sweet absurdities.

Yuck Down to: Cheap sugary overloads.

View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.

Filed Under: Taste Test Reviews

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30 Comments

Italian Sub Slays Innocent Woman

November 22, 2009 By yumyucky 22 Comments

"Watch it, lady! You're gonna get slayed."

I ate real good last week. Stuff like raspberries and pomegranates, broccoli, chicken breast, and whole grains. I even participated in Vegan 4 A Week (as a spectator) and uber-socialized with the almond butter babes.

I deserve a reward for these honorable deeds, but I won't ask you to give me a medal until later.

Then Friday rolled around. Visions of an Italian Sub entered my brain and seized control of my common sense. I had to have one. I need one. I want one.

I'm getting one.

My dream was to lazy O'Round and eat on the couch with Friday night TV. I Twittered about the sub, but got a warning to "be careful what's in that sub, girl!", so I turned to my Facebook crew and found the support I required:

"Eat it girl, you know you can…"

So I ate the sub; all the works (except for pickles) with the finest cold cuts and soft fresh bread. I was full after the first three bites, so why did I keep on eating?

And eating.

Until it was gone.

The Italian Sub is not my friend. It used to sing me love songs and warm my belly with happiness, but I'm noticing a trend. The healthier I eat over long periods of time, the *less* I can tolerate crap food. The sub was heavy on my stomach and totally unsatisfying.

It's been three days and I swear I'm still belching cold cuts. I was slayed by the sub, but never again. I learned myself a miserable lesson….Just because I think about the sub doesn't mean I should eat the damn thing.

(photo credit)

Filed Under: Eat Right

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22 Comments

Sexy Man Fitness Formula

November 20, 2009 By yumyucky 15 Comments

Yum Yucky says a sexy man is a healthy man. Here is the recommended list of activities a smart & savvy man will do to be healthy while increasing his sexiness in the eyes of the woman.

Sexy Man Fitness List

These activities incorporate cardio and/or strength training, so it's all healthy exercise to promote sexiness.

Rub the woman's feet.
Mow grass without shirt as man-sweat glistens in the sun.
Lift heavy laundry baskets (& do laundry since it's already in your hands).
Chase after kids to get them in bathtub, ready for school, etc..
Mall day with the woman to carry large shopping bags.
Fetch woman cold drink/snacks during commercial breaks.

These Fit Tips are guaranteed to send the man's sexy through the roof. Yum Yucky encourages unhealthy men everywhere use this list to benefit women get fit and sexy. As the man increases his sexy, the woman will be pleased.

Do you know a sexy man? Will you recommend this list to the potentially sexy? This is not a complete list, so feel free to leave your own recommendations.

(photo credit)

Filed Under: Have a Laugh

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15 Comments

Dear Mr. Fast Food…..

November 19, 2009 By yumyucky 30 Comments

I did not really eat this. It was only a stunt" ~ Josie

Dear Mr. Fast Food,

It's just about over between
us. You are not sexy anymore. Your greasy goodness and fried fanfare
used to sparkle like the sun and hypnotize my digestive tract. I was hungry like the wolf for your love, but now, not so much.

Remember
when I adored you? It began as puppy passion with those 20 chicken nuggets. I was damn proud to polish off every single one. Then it turned teenage crush when I
feigned for you each weekend.

But then you brought the horror. Ugly, rotten, gastric horror.

Why did you give me food poisoning? Twice? I was a faithful woman, but you gave me a bunch of crap. Your antics went way too far.

You alienated me from my slender size 6 and bloated my ass till it ripped my favorite jeans. I had to work real hard to deflate my thighs and stomach. I won't go through this again!

Just between us, you actually look real pretty when you're photoshopped in print, but I'll never step out of my safe zone:

Chick-fil-A sandwich, 430 calories
Wendy's Spicy Go Wrap, 320 calories
Egg McMuffin, 300 calories

And don't call me a hypocrite for those Fast Food Cheat Sheets. They help Fast Food Junkies transition away from your monster grip and start eating with a half-brain of sanity.

Your Former Love,

Josie

Do you still need to send your break-up letter to Mr. Fast Food? If yes, what are you waiting for?

(photo credit)

Filed Under: Eat Right Tagged With: fast food horror

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30 Comments

Tasting! Odwalla Pink Poetry Fruit Smoothie

November 18, 2009 By yumyucky 22 Comments

Yo, Odwalla! You’ve got some explaining to do!

My Greedy Gland never goes overactive for the good stuff that grows on trees, but all of a sudden my taste buds are spastically rejoicing over Odwalla‘s Pink Poetry Fruit Smoothie.

What’s the deal?

My tasting intuition knew it was going to be good, but hot dang! This stuff tastes like my own personal Fruit Servant grew the food out back, harvested the healthy-ness, then presented it to me real fresh and lovely in a smoothie formulation.

The ingredients read like Healthy Hippie love:

“Plum puree, apple juice, orange juice, banana puree, dark sweet cherry puree, pink guava, hibiscus extract, cranberry extract, green tea extract, rose hips, Vitamins C & E, plus Iron and Calcium. “

Odwalla calls it a Superfood and I’ll attest to that. There is NO artificial unhealthy crap in this drink. It’s a 100% juice/puree blend that’s thick and filling enough to serve as a meal replacement, and wildly flavorful with awesome aroma from the beautiful blend of fruit ingredients.

Pink Poetry Fruit Smoothie is superior in taste to any concoction I’ve blended at home or anything I’ve ever bought from one of those fresh fruit smoothie stands. It was designed with women in mind to provide some of the essential nutrients for us Diva Darlings, and was also introduced to raise awareness of breast cancer. (but men should drink it too)

Click on the label for full-size view to learn more.