Yum Yucky

The Hungry Genealogy of Josie

December 2, 2009 By yumyucky 3 Comments

“If it wasn’t for two special women, Yum Yucky wouldn’t be around.”

First, there is my Oma, which means “Grandmother” in German. My Oma is from Vienna, Austria and she brought me up on Weiner Schnitzels, our traditional Christmas meal.

Last month our family celebrated Oma’s 86th birthday and I ate cake. Lots of it. I didn’t care about the calories because I refused to keep track on such a special occasion.

Special celebrations and calorie counting don’t mix. At least for me.

6a010536e3fd46970c01287604b4ca970c 500wi The Hungry Genealogy of Josie

Then there is my beautiful mother. On Thanksgiving she made a delectable Eggplant Parm. We also had turkey, but the Parm was an awesome highlight.

This is my Yum Yucky genealogy. These wonderful women aren’t greedy like me, so the best I figure is the family DNA mutated upon my birth, causing me to be born with a double stomach and genetically built-in food detector.

Damn, I’m a lucky girl!

Filed Under: Get Inspired

Speak Your Mind! •

3 Comments

"Tasting!" V-8 Spicy Hot Veggie Juice

December 1, 2009 By yumyucky 5 Comments

“I wanna be a Spicy Hottie, but I’m a Hot Mess instead.”

The kids ran me into the ground and stomped me silly. My hair is unkempt and I need a gallon of coffee.

V8 Spicy Hot….take me away!

When I gulp this down I expect miracles to happen. I will be transported to my alternate reality where I am a Spicy Hottie. I will shake my hips like a Latino dancer as shirtless bachelor men beg for my phone number.

But oh damn. Until I comb my hair, this is the only bachelor that might think I’m cute.

So on to the Tasting. It’s real basic and simple. V-8 Spicy Hot is just like regular V-8, 100% veggie juice, but less thick and with a taste of less sodium (thank goodness), plus the living flames of hell added in for good measure.

It’s too hot for me. It’s hotter than the hot sauce in my fridge, but I totally recommend it to anyone who wants two full servings of veggies served up in a glass of fiery liquid.

I’m serious. Because I know some people like it hot. So if that’s you, go buy this.

Spicy Notes

Price Paid: $3.99 for 46 ounces
Serving Size: 8 ounces
Calories: 50
Fat Calories: 0
Total Fat: 0g
Sat. Fat: 0g
Sodium: 620mg
Carbs: 10g
Fiber: 2g
Sugars: 8g
Protein: 2g

Reactions from the Taste Test Crew

Greedy Kid #1: No way. You know I don’t like V-8.

Greedy Kid #2: Oh no. Please don’t make me… (sipping) … It’s nasty.

Yum UP! to: Combing my hair.

Yuck Down to: The living flames of hell. Avoid that.

View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.

Filed Under: Taste Test Reviews Tagged With: v8 spicy hot

Speak Your Mind! •

5 Comments

Deep Dark Secrets in the Yum Yucky Kitchen

November 30, 2009 By yumyucky 44 Comments

Nope. My deep dark kitchen secret is NOT a bunch of cockroaches running around. But is it equally appalling?

This secret of mine is no fault of my own. I’ve been forced into slavery by the unhealthy minds that I dwell with. They make me buy things at the grocery store that cause me to shake my head in disgust and say, “Why is this in my kitchen?”

I am not proud.

I tried to revolt but it led to harassments and whinings orchestrated by Health-hater Husband. It’s beyond what I’m able to endure so I need you to feel sorry for me. I give in and buy the crap stuff sometimes, because I don’t want to hear the Greedy Family complain and make me miserable.

Kitchen Confessionals

6a010536e3fd46970c012875f45d4a970c 500wi Deep Dark Secrets in the Yum Yucky Kitchen

I buy 25-pound packages of Domino Sugar. It lasts about 5 months and is mostly used for husband’s coffee, homemade baked goods that go terribly wrong, and for the secret sprinkling of sugar onto healthy cereal behind my back.

I know all about sugar substitutes like Stevia. I tried to make them use it, but it didn’t work.

FROOT LOOPS

I buy crap cereal so the kids will keep quiet. Not very often, but it happens. Greedy Kid #1 tried to argue that Froot Loops contain more fiber than Frosted Mini Wheats. After I loudly proved her wrong in the middle of the store, she threw something at me (supposedly) for fun.

But she missed.

And hit an innocent shopper.

“Sorry dude”. That’s what I said. Well, not exactly, but thank goodness he wasn’t pissed.

PIE

Mmmm. I bought it for myself. This pumpkin pie is for me. The family does not know about it. I stashed it deep in the fridge behind some old, wilted vegetables and I’m going to pull it out for a chomp-fest after they all start snoring.

Sugar and Froot Loops are shameful secrets beyond my control, but this secret pie is a deep dark secret I am proud of.

(And I’m the only one in the house who deserves pie.)

Filed Under: Eat Right

Speak Your Mind! •

44 Comments

I Burned Over 5,476 Calories in One Hour

November 29, 2009 By yumyucky 34 Comments

"You will need bubble wrap for your head."

I feel compelled to amp up my workout so I can eat extra pies slices at a later date. Besides today's Sprint and Jump Rope Intervals, I engaged in additional activities which I did NOT sign up for that helped me burn an additional 5,476 calories in one hour. I have no scientific proof.

Evil Pit Bull Freak Out = 1,223 calories burned

The damn dog came out of nowhere during my warm up. He barked and growled like I was about to become his third breakfast of the morning, but I didn't freeze up or run like hell. I just kept on walking until he stopped following me. I remained calm, but was freaking out internally, thus, the calorie burn.

Wild Dog is Chasing Me = 2,925 calories burned

This fierce bastard interrupted my intervals. He made me run way faster than planned so I could hop a gate and hide behind a bush. He wouldn't go away so I started yelling at him. It worked. Then he started chasing someone else.

Pervert Weirdo is Scaring Me = 925 calories burned

I don't like people who stare at me when I workout. I did not trust this weirdo and his gaze made me uncomfortable. The only thing that gave me a bit of peace was his slothful condition. Surely I could outrun him if necessary. Remember the Wild Dog that eventually "started chasing someone else"? It was Pervert Weirdo. Wild Dog chased him away. I never saw either one again.

Baby Slug Murder = 403 calories burned

There was a cute ugly baby slug in the path of my intervals. He deserved a chance at life and I would not harm him, but I wasn't going to change locations either. I was careful to jump over him each time I passed by. But I think I forgot towards the end because he was smashed when I came 'round again. The grief of crushing baby slug (a murder?) caused this particular calorie expenditure.

Total Calories Burn = 5,476

It was a tough workout. My booty muscles and triceps are especially sore. I'm hoping the Bubble Wrap on The Brain trick will cause additional calories to perish as each individual bubble works to replenish my energies and relax me.

I'm beat.

Maybe I'll add the bubble wrap to my Really Stupid Fat Loss Headlines?

Has your own outdoor workout ever make you reach for bubble wrap?

Filed Under: Get Fit

Speak Your Mind! •

34 Comments

"Tasting!" Utz Sweet Potato Chips

November 27, 2009 By yumyucky 19 Comments

Take a look at the bag. These are gourmet chips. It’s underlined like this: GOURMET. That means it’s not regular junk food. It’s high quality junk food.

Baked Sweet Potato Fries are fantastical, but Utz Sweet Potato Chips? Not so much.

When I engage in mindless chip munching I don’t want it to taste like my dinner. The strong sweet potato flavor makes me feel like I’m not snacking. And I want to snack, but I want to be healthy. So what do I do?

If you’re like me, sweet potato chips will take some getting used to. And so I will. I’ll maybe keep eating them every so often instead of evil, regular chips. But I’m ditching the Utz brand. Immediately.

Who is the Utz employee in charge of adding the “crispy crunchy” to the chip? He either called out sick again, took an unscheduled leave of absence, or fell asleep at the crispy crunchy station. These taste stale. And they’re virtually salt-less. Can I get a little salt?

I guess not.

I’m underwhelmed by Utz’s execution of the chip. They give sweet potatoes everywhere a bad name. Tisk, tisk, tisk.

Sweet Potato Notes