I think I may be feverish and half-way delirious. I tried to take some Tylenol, but it can't save me now. 

What the hell is my problem?

I caught some inspiration a disease from hanging 'round the Twitter critters who talk running and marathons. I hate to run. It's boring. So why all of a sudden did I run 7.5 miles in the past few days (about 2 miles per day)?

That's not exactly high mileage, but for a woman who gets her cardio kicks from intervals 'n stuff (like sprinting, jumping rope, and plyometrics), running those miles is totally out of character.

I even liked it a little alot. Shhh! Don't tell.

Those Twitter critters are spreading Runner's Disease and I need to be vaccinated. If their infectious inspiration is allowed to continue, I may actually go through with that 5K in April, or worse! 

And wouldn't you know; I just had a disease-ridden idea. How about I go back out tomorrow and run some more? Ack! That vaccine better get here quick.

It's hard to resist the run.

But for now I'll just laze o'round on the couch and force one of the kids to rub my feet.<— but those aren't mine. I swear it.

Do you suffer from Runner's Disease? If not, do you fear becoming infected? Or are you totally immune?

[photo credit]

Ten of you are going to win, so pay attention…… The Popsicle
People graced Yum Yucky with some frozen treats to inhale, but they should have sent the package straight to Greedy Kid #3's stomach. He's the one who dang near ate all my Popsicle Sugar Free Tropicals Pops and Low Fat Fudgsicle Triple Chocolate Bars. Aargh!

This is what Popsicle People have to say about being greedy with desserts:

Popsicle® commissioned a recent survey and found that nearly 80% of moms admit to breaking into their children’s arsenal of snacks and desserts. It also revealed the foods moms most try to avoid having in the house are candy, baked goods, and fried ostrich beaks. Three in four moms agree it’s a challenge to find desserts and snacks the kids enjoy and are not bad for them, and 60% of moms agree it’s tough to find desserts and snacks that satisfy both their kids and themselves.

But what does Josie say? I say I'm the victim here. Me! Me! Me! The kids are breaking into MY arsenal of snacks and desserts, including my Fudgsicle love, as evidenced by it's long-standing spot on the Healthy Snacks Cheat Sheet. 

Sugar Free Tropicals Pops are 15 calorie each. Fudgsicle Triple Chocolate Bars are 60 calories each. This is how dessert is done. Sweet, delicious, and cheap on calories, which means I could eat like three of these tonight (if there's any left) and not feel bad about it.

The Giveaway

Ten (10) Yum Yucky friends will each receive a FREE box of Popscicle or Fudgsicle pops in the form of a free coupon to pick some up at the store.    

How Do I Enter?

Have you ever went to grab your sweet treat, but some sneaky-greedy person ate it already? Leave a comment to describe how you grew horns and breathed fire because your snack was gone. Or maybe you remained calm? You can tell me about that too.

Bonus Entry (optional) 

Leave a comment if you Twittered about the Giveaway using this link to the post: http://tinyurl.com/ygxhh56

This Greedy Giveaway will run for 3 days. Your chance to enter ends
Sunday evening, 1/24/10. Winners announced on Monday. U.S. participants only. This contest is totally
null and void where prohibited. 

Ready. Set. GO!

OH damn. This is the crap-stash of treats I snuck into the movies to see Avatar. But please
don't tell, because sneaking food into the movies is against the law.

I thought I could stash this stuff in my bra and pose as a big-boobed sexy woman, but my bra is too small to fit it all, so I stashed it elsewhere.

I mostly eat real healthy 'n stuff, but whenever I go to the movies my brain kicks into junk food candy mode.

Ironically, candy doesn't woo me. It doesn't call my name. It doesn't have the power to make me drool. I just eat it on autopilot, because that's what people at the movies are supposed to do. Right?

I only ate one pack of Peanut M&M's for 250 calories and gave everything else to my friends, but I'm still guilty of buying all this crap. So it got me thinking….

I say screw the traditional must-eat-movie-candy laws!

I do NOT have to eat candy at the movies just because it's the "normal" thing to do.

I can stash a Luna Bar in my sock. I can put a Pure Bar under my hat. I can hide a bag of butterless microwave popcorn in my coat. Etc, etc, etc….

Just because I go to the movies doesn't mean I have to leave the theater 3-pounds heavier.

How do YOU do food at the movies?

It’s the Frypod; that new state of the art Burger King contraption you buy at the grocery store. It contains microwaveable seasoned crinkle fries and empowers fast food lovers to sit on their azz to eat Burger King without the hassle of drive thru.

Surely the healthy hippies don’t know about this fancy, polygon-shaped wonder? And I do apologize for forcing you to behold such blatant un-healthiness. I’m just curious.

The easy transport Frypod directions told me to “shake, vent, zap, tap and rip”. And then I tasted it…….

Boo! Hiss! FAIL! I cannot take it.

Frypod fries are not crispy at all. They’re mushy in some spots and greasy-nasty all over with spicy seasoning gone wrong. Please get these things away from me. I’d rather eat pan-seared rat giblets dipped in boiled hogwash. Maybe.

The Frypod also contains “Disodium Dihydrogen Pyrophosphate”, which sounds like a digestible weapon to self-induce a shortened life span. I’m obviously not eating this again. Like I said, I was just curious.

Frypod Notes

• Price paid: $1.66 on sale
• Servings per Frypod: 1.5
• Calories: 210
• Fat Calories: 110
• Total Fat: 12g
• Sodium: 340mg
• Carbs: 31g
• Fiber: 3g
• Sugars: 0g
• Protein: 3g

Reactions from the Taste Test Crew

Health-hater Husband: Eh, they’re okay. Maybe for a bachelor.

Greedy Kid #2: They’re spicy. I’d eat ‘em if I was hungry.

Greedy Kid #4: <—she freaked out real good when I snatched it from her.

Yum UP! to: Sitting around on my azz.

Yuck Down to: Digestible weapons.

View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.

No, my friends, this is NOT pole dancing. It's climbing; and a rather pathetic attempt because I could not get my azz to the top.

As much as I am proud of my quasi-toned arms, I got slapped into the reality that "toned" and "strong" do not always dwell together. For some? Sure. But for me right now? Nope.

I got that far up the pole because I jumped, but within one nano-second discovered that I did not possess the arm strength to go any higher, let alone hold on for much longer.

I could not pull myself up. Not even an inch. I pretty much suck wind.

This humbling lesson gave me an epiphany: I look okay on the outside and I'm pretty dang healthy on the inside, but I'm not as strong as I thought.

I want to be strong.

I want to get to the top of the pole.

So here comes the challenge.

I double-dare myself to get to the top of that dang pole. It may take a month. It may takes six months. It better not take a year.  

Stick around and watch me do it. Muawaaah!

How about you? What will YOU dare to do?