Is it just me? Am I the only one that suffers from the Exercise Wedgie? Exercise sucks when the panties are in a bunch. Whether you’re running, stretching, squatting, or yoga-ing, a spontaneous wedgie can really slow you down.

Take a look at the panties in the pic. Those are GAP Low Rise Stretch Cotton Hipsters. I now own 6 pairs.

These panties are a best. Yes, better than Victoria’s Secret. If you normally don’t associate the GAP with panty-buying, just go browse their panty table and see for yourself.

Cotton Hispters are great for curvy women and really flatter you in a full length mirror. They obediently stay in place on da booty without shifting or bunching. Now I go can running at the park without de-wedging in front of random strangers.

HIPSTER NOTES

• Price Paid: $5 a pair on sale
• Fabric: Knit stretch 94% cotton, 6% spandex
• Care: Machine wash
• Sizes: S, M,  L, XL, XXL (these are true to size)

Yum UP! to: A great pair of panties that helps me appreciate my curves.

Yuck Down to: Running wedgies. They are the worst.

Today I wore a pair of Hipsters. I did not have to pick out even one little wedgie. Zero wedgies, baby!

Just because you lost the weight does NOT entitle you to a public display of full body spandex.

So don’t do it.

And, no. I don’t know what is up with the half-horsed, feather-haired lingerie model.  So don’t ask.

OH MY!

Panty lines are usually a fashion no-no, but the fact that she has NO panty lines is very, very disturbing…..

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If someone won’t shut the hellz up with all their constant talking or whining or complaining, you must resort to Food Stuffage (stuffing YOUR face real good).

Food Stuffage will cause the frackin’ irritating sound of their voice to be drowned out. And that will make you happy.

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The new Wish Yourself Really Thin Diet is now on the market!

But it comes with a drunk fairy that might screw up a little.

You’ve been warned.

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What do YOU do when you're snowed-in? (like Josie is right now)

If you're lounging o'round, go check out my guest post at You On a Diet.

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Some are specially trained to only chew off the fatty part.

Order your fat-chewing zombie today.

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Are you too lethargic to exercise? Unmotivated to get your body moving?

Any kind of movement is better than no movement at all. The more you move, the more your body will crave the movement. Before you know it, you'll be on your way to full-fledged exercise with your armpits stinking and your muscles real sore after a hard workout.

Stretch

Touch your toes. Reach up to the sky. Twist your torso. It only takes a sec. A body that does not move gets rusty and creaky; and those bodies end up in a doctor's office with the kind of aches and pains that simple exercise can fix.    

Climb

Don't just stand there while you wait for your microwave meal to cook. Find a step, or a flight of stairs, and go climb up and down while your food is cooking. You'll be amazed how good you feel after a short, three minute stair climb.  

Push

Just because it's a push up doesn't mean you have to do it on the floor. If you want sleek & sexy arms, start off with a wall push up until you're strong enough to hit the floor.  

If you're a fitness freak and don't need these tips, how did you first start out with exercise? What kind of beginner's workout do you recommend? 

Josie has been lethargic-free since 2006. How about you?

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The spawns I birthed are Feral Money Beasts. They run 'round wild in the cash-woods of my bank account threatening to bleed it dry. [go here if you don't know what "Feral" means]

Feral Children are hungry to devour your money and will rob you in whatever form they dang-well please.

Cash. Credit. Cell phone overages. Lights left on runnin' up the electric bill. Gas-guzzling driving them around the world. They're crafty little beasts, ever lusting for the contents of your wallet.

Do you have Feral Money Beasts in your life?

Greedy Kid #1 attacked in Feral style. She claimed 10 of her closest friends required Christmas gifts wrapped up real pretty with a "FROM" tag bearing her name. But guess who foots the bill?

• My 1st response: Whatever!
• 2nd response: You better get a job.
• 3rd response: I ain't paying.
• 4th response: Yeah! Let's do this.

Allow me to explain.

I already confessed to buying 25-pound packages of Domino Sugar, but hallelujah! It's not just for eating anymore. 

Domino Sugar (those friends of the Sugar People) threw me a $20 gift card to pick up some supplies and create a tasty-sweet gift idea from their website. Since I can't cook real good (don't they know this?), I opted for their Brown Sugar Body Scrub recipe.  

 My child's Feral Friends all received homemade jars of the Scrub containing five simple ingredients that were ground, mixed, and packed real nice into baby food containers with a pretty bow:

• 1/2 cup ground almonds 
• 1/2 cup ground oatmeal
• 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed 
• 1/4 cup almond oil*
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract

Ours came out a bit chunky because we don't have a food grinder (we used a hammer to beat the almonds silly inside a Ziploc bag), but the Feral Friends thought it was fantastic anyhow. We told them to use it on their hands as an exfoliating moisturizer. 

I spent time in the kitchen with my teen. The Scrubs turned out great. It was cheap gift-giving. I like that lots.

You can also make a White Cane Glimmer Sugar Scrub or Sweet 'N Spicy Brown Sugar Scrub. Gift it to your friend, your neighbor, your co-worker; or give them nothing and keep it for yourself. You decide.

Disclaimer for the Stupid People: Do not use the Scrubs to treat facial acne. One Feral Friend tried to do that. But we stopped her.

*be careful not to slip in the tub when scrubbin' the sugary oils on your bod.

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