Ooo-la-la. Look at the pretty colors. It’s Artificial Orange and Sugar-laden Green disguised as Cheetos and Mountain Dew!

How many calories does it take to taste the bitter truth that this stuff ain’t no damn good for your body?

• 380 calories – Cheetos 2.4 ounce package
• 290 calories – Mountain Dew 20 ounce soda

*Price Paid – $2.49
*Total Calories – 670

In my long ago unbridled Greedy days I ate a bag of Cheetos everyday at work…and swelled my fat cells to the tune of 15 extra pounds in one year. Can I have a do-over and take that back?

Welcome to a taste of the all-American diet for our tight-on-time, energy lagging constituents. How many calories will you donate towards the purchase of a larger pant size if you graze on two chocolate cake glazed Dunkin Donuts and a can of Monster Energy drink?

• 560 calories – Two chocolate cake glazed Dunkin Donuts (280 per piece)
• 200 calories – Monster Energy Drink

*Total Cost – $3.39
*Total Calories – 760

…and you’ll be hungry again in an hour. Now who the hell took a bite out of my that donut!?

How many junk food calories will you feed to your fat cells if you eat a bag of chips, soda, and a honey bun?

• 300 calories – Herr’s Sour Cream & Onion chips 2.375 ounce
• 320 calories – Sunkist Orange Soda 20 ounce bottle
• 500 calories – Little Debbie Iced Honey Bun

*Total Cost $3.23
*Total Calories 1,120

This “meal” is easy on your pockets, but it still comes at a high price. Too bad the Greedy Kids stole the honey bun and ate it. I salivated over the chips for several minutes before re-gaining control over myself. The bag is still closed for now.