Some of you say the Greedy Family should have its own reality TV show. But since there’s not a producer around who gives a damn, I present to you a picture rendition of the Greedy Family household. This is what you’d get if our life was on reality TV – our July 4th weekend. I’m just sorry I did not get a snapshot of the part when our neighbors (husband and wife) got arrested and carted away in handcuffs. Those details remain a mystery.
Cute as they are, I am not ashamed to admit that my child spawns turn ugly-faced when they cry real hard. First, Greedy Baby got caught hiding food under her shirt at a restaurant, and then she cried ugly when we ran out of breakfast sausage this morning. Her argument was that no hungry baby should be denied that 3rd piece of sausage.
This is the face of Greedy Kid #2. His eye is no longer swelled half shut, but it still sports the bloody eyeball and outer bruising look. So what happened? Husband challenged him to a game of basketball. Normal everyday stuff. But this time Kid #2 slipped and hit his face on Husband’s moving knee, then fell backwards in a daze and bashed his face on the fence. But do not be alarmed. This newest accident is purely small potatoes. Greedy’s prior slip ‘n fall basketball accident resulted in a 3-inch gash in his head, memory loss, a concussion, and stitches. Maybe he should take up crocheting instead.
I bought a new pair of sneaks, but I’ll get to that part in a sec. I finally got a pedicure this weekend. Last one before that was 5-months ago, and before that was back when I only had three kids. This is a case of putting everyone and everything before myself ALL the time – the doom of crusty feet is inevitable. So I de-crusted my feet and promised myself to go for salon-professional feet assistance at least once a month. Greedy Baby got jealous of my pedicure, so I had to paint her toes.
And here you have my sneakers! These are the Asics Gel-Trail Attack 6, designed for running on trails with varied surfaces like rocks, gravel, hills, slopes, etc.. I try to avoid the evil pavement because it makes my knees whine. Grass and dirt terrains love me best. I’ve been buying Asics since 1988 when I faked that high school Cross Country injury due to last place embarrassment. I just got this newest pair at DSW for $75. They are a comfy, cushy, and lightweight.
And there goes those frackin’ delicious buttermilk biscuits I told you about. I bought two packages this time for double the eating pleasure.
We opted for a 3-hour game of Monopoly instead of fireworks. Pictured from left to right: (clueless) Greedy Kid #2, scary-faced Health-hater Husband, Greedy Kid #1, my pedicured foot, and Greedy Kid #3. Absent from the picture is sleeping Greedy Baby. All that food-whining made her tired.
This was our weekend. And the reality of our life.