Lazy Forever? Yes, please. Count me in. I’ll start with a ‘lil bit of couch-azzing and then work my way into some floor-napping. Then I’ll top it all off by forcing the Greedy Kids to bring me drinks and snacks so my lazy butt can stay put right where I am.

Lazy forever. I’ll take 10 boxes of that.

….this is a reader-friend of Yum Yucky. hahahahaaa! It’s Geosomin, everybody.

She didn’t quite get around to submitting her “after” pic for the Bikini Body Challenge. How dare her! So yeah… this is it. [insert confusion here?]

I don’t know how many people would step into the the deep, dark jungles wearing camouflage bikini and a bear mask on the cranium, but I’m proud of Geosomin for braving the antelope and Sasquatch and rabid hyenas to capture this picture out in the wild. She could have been killed bitten my mosquitoes. (gasp!)

Geosomin has more bikini-jungle pics on her blog, so go check out all of her poses.

Feel free to shoot me any of your absurdly wonderful photos anytime. I like this kinda stuff. And don’t forget about the The People of Yum Yucky. I want your pics for that, too.

Have a stellar weekend, everybody. BOOM!

…and yes, he was already wearing underwear, but they were too…flimsy. So I enhanced his man-panties in the photo editor to cover more (eh-em) area.

You remember this guy, right? He’s the same dude that’s right over here. I’ll call him Cletus.

So I’m feeling lazy, but it’s a good kind of lazy. After three straight days of BodyRock.Tv workouts, it’s finally caught up to me.

I need rest.

I need Yoga.

I need a moment of rejuvenation before hitting the Summer Abs Workout real hard like it owes me pimpin’ money.

So please enjoy Cletus and I’ll be right back. Just take in his image in nice and slooow. Because a quick glance at Cletus before gouging out your eyes would be so freaking rude.

Qwaneena The Black Princess Warrior

…and do you see the cat in the background? Mr. Kittay is thinking, “This sh!t is normal ’round here. I done seen this sh!t before.”

For some reason Greedy Baby thinks that’s me in the pic. But I don’t own a two-piece yet. Or a black cat. Or a gun. Or a …eh, never mind.

I am a dumb azz, my dear friends. And it ain’t no joke when I tell you that I could have put my eye out this morning, or cut an artery or something.

It all started with my morning Shakeology ritual. Everything was going fine and dandy. I slurped it down and then approached the blender for cleaning out the portion that I was saving for Health-hater, but he didn’t come downstairs in time and it melted.

So anywayyyyy…..

There was a metal pie slicer already in the blender – it kind of looks like this. I’ve been using that thing to scoop ‘n scrap the shake into my cup (don’t ask). With the top now off the blender and the pie slicer inside, instead of powering the damn thing off, I hit “crush ice”.

I don’t know how fast that blade spins, but it was powerful enough to cause the metal pie slicer to spin so fast that it shattered the glass and then flew across the kitchen at top speed. Not only that, but there was Shakeology on the floor, the cabinets, the kitchen blinds, the ceiling, and all over ME (thank you, husband, for cleaning that up), plus broken glass EVERYWHERE.

It wasn’t until I was done lamenting my now defunct blender that I realized I was injured. A shard of glass put a gash in my leg. And as I write this, I think there’s a very fine piece of shard stuck in my face, because it hurts and I gotta go check on that right now.

There’s something husband said that stuck out to me when I was still whining about the blender:

“Why are you complaining about things that can be replaced? That glass could have hit you in your eye. Just be thankful you’re not hurt worse.”

Ugh. He’s right. And now I wonder, what else have I been whining-complaining about that could be easily fixed or change or rectified? I’ve got lots to think about. And I need to check my face for glass shards, so I’ll talk to ya soon.

See that right up there? Netflix gave Hot Yoga: Sizzling Basics for Men & Woman 2.5 stars.

I am baffled. Bewildered. Perplexed. These men are in thong-panties. Not jock straps. Not fitness shorts. Thong-panties! I watched the entire 30-minute DVD with my jaw dropped. Their Yoga mat is a blanket and their skills are extremely subpar. I truly believe this video was done to entertain certain peeps (eh, whatever floats your man-junk boat) instead of to actually instruct.

The images below are screen shots I took from the DVD. Check it out and tell me what you think.

Nothing like men in panties on a rocky, hilly terrain.

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Booty everywhere.

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Thank God they didn’t show this from the back.

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Why are they so damn close to each other?

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Oh.my.GOSH! I had to blank that out. His full azz crack was on display.

The additional screen shots I decided NOT to post, because the man junk and nipple close ups were even too much for this crazy blog. So I just need to know. Is this Yoga Porn or not?

Go on gurl. Rock ‘dat style for East-ahh!

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Jolly Ranchers are da bomb, but these might give you hairballs.

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Eh, I prefer regular Skittles over the pastel variety.

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Because no barbecue is complete without the drinks.

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This one qualifies as edible, because it’s grocery money.

Have a ghetto-fabulous day, err-body!

Uhhh, well. I’m lazy (sometimes). I hate cuttin’ up the child’s bowl of sketti.

It’s cool that Barilla wants to empower us to not have to slay the noodles into pieces. They already did it for us.

But too bad I won’t buy it. There’s no whole grain variety of the cut sketti. SUCKERS!!

You buyin’ this?

It’s the tummy and bust shaper from The Bigger Loser people! But why do they think I don’t wear my own bra? Exactly whose bra am I wearing?

…hers?

Us ladies (and maybe even some men) can be empowered to wear our own stuff if we pay The Biggest Loser a small fee of $16.99.

So which one of you chicks took my bra! That sports bra I sweated up this morning has gone missing.

[photo by my Health-hater Husband. Should I be concerned?]

Meet Tyrone. He’s been workin’ on his sexy all week long. Can’t you tell? And now that the weekend’s here, it’s time for Tyrone to kick back and relax with Champagne.

I don’t know about you, but just like Tyrone, I killed it this week with a focus on Pilates, Hot Yoga Body and clean eating everyday. I feel victorious ‘n stuff.

For the weekend, I’ve got a big cardio-fest planned on Saturday, and then active recovery with a long walk and 30-minute stretch session on Sunday. Can ya feel me on this?

So what are YOUR weekend fitness plans?

If this past week of fitness (or lack thereof) wasn’t quite like you planned, that’s all behind you now. Give yourself a do-over and start fresh from here. If your stomach is STILL hanging over your pants because you just won’t get started – it’s time to do it, dammit.

I dare you to reclaim your body. But if you won’t cooperate, I’ll just have Tyrone track you down.

COMING SOON! Stay tuned for the new exercise DVD, Fitness with Tyrone!.

(This post is dedicated to SkippyMom. Because she appreciates a good ‘n ugly sexy man.)