The most balanced meal you’ve never seen in your life… until now.

If you thought you were gonna find here today some sauteed chicken livers & steamed wombat claws as a fine example of balanced meal-ing, then I’m sorry to disappoint. You better click away right now.

balanced meal The most balanced meal youve never seen in your life... until now.

Broccoli in the middle. One hot dog on each side to create proper balancing of the dinner-meal. Sadly, I forgot the mustard.

All that wonderful talk about intermittent fasting and clean eating does not change the fact that I eat “normal” meals for dinner. I eat what my family eats. Don’t even sweat it.

In a perfect world those hungry child-spawns of mine would enjoy grass fed meats that I slaughtered myself, complete with a side of organic cheeses and hand-plucked spices harvested during my travels to the remote mountaintops of Indonesia.

But my ass is exhausted after work. I do what I can to make it nutritious. If that means a nice, uber-healthy meal, then great. But if it ends up being a can of Chef Boyardee? Well that’s great, too.

If you think this meal is fancy, just wait until you hear about the bag of frozen meat patties made from mechanically separated poultry parts that I bought on purpose. That particular meal is also known as, So Damn Tired Chicken Sammich Night.

Do you find my family cooking style to be appalling or applauding? Please…go on. Tell me more about it in the comments.  

FOLLOW ME!

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube

Instagram

How to Feed a Child Cow Snacks

It’s time for an educational moment here on the blawg. This is the proper way to feed a young child Cow Snacks. The fact that we’re a bunch of barbarians up in this house is not up for debate.

Click here to watch in YouTube.

>> Subscribe to Yum Yucky on YouTube

Holla at me in the comments if you like Cow Snacks, too.

FOLLOW ME

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube

Instagram

Never in a gazillion years will you see this again.

First, there was dinner: Thai salad with chicken. Then it was Froot Loops for dessert. Yup. But never in a gazillion years will this come out of a cereal box again…

fruit loop Never in a gazillion years will you see this again.

It’s the most interestingly-shaped Froot Loop ever produced at a cereal factory on the planet. This specimen is one of a kind. What a fascinating, oblong shape. Yes?

The ‘Loop is about an inch long. If you look real close you will notice the face of the Virgin Mary on the left, as well as the thumbprint of Elvis on top.

I could fetch a high dollar price for this mutant ‘Loop on Ebay — enough to pay off my mortgage ‘n stuff. But instead, I did the more logical-sensible thing?

I ate it.

I basically ate the payoff monies for my mortgage. Damn.

FOLLOW ME

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube

Instagram

Emergency Breakfast Syrup

Evidence of emergency breakfast syrup inside the purse….

syrup Emergency Breakfast Syrup

I’m actually partial to pure maple, but any kind of emergency syrups is bettah than no syrups at all.

Pancakes… Waffles… French Toast… Holla at me!!

Life Saving Tip: The key to stocking your emergency supply inside the purse is to inconspicuously collect unopened, leftover syrup after you have been served at a restaurant. This requires lightening speed, hand-to-purse action moves after the waitress walks away. And no, this ain’t stealing because the syrup is already on the table.

I’m currently working on a way to stock leftovers from the local steakhouse, but my purse does not presently contain the technology to keep a prime rib from rotting.

This is a very serious matter. You could starve if you don’t properly stock up on breakfast condiments.

There will never be a pancake thrown at me that I cannot successfully syrup. Can you say the same? It’s time to take a good hard look at your life and ask yourself the tough questions such as this.

If you require assistance in making your very first collection of syrup into the purse, please call 1-800-555-SYRUP. I’ll be on the other end of the phone line ready to walk you through the process. The call will cost you only $99 per minute… because I care.

FOLLOW ME!

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube

Instagram

Food from ‘da hood.

I acquired this plate of deliciousness in ‘da hood. You know, that part of town where gunshots are fired and drug deals are done out in the open.

french toast Food from da hood.

Yet Saturday mornings in this particular part of town are pretty quiet — it’s that time of day when thugs are too hungry to be committing their crimes and pimpin’ is kept to a minimum. Totally safe, right?

The hubs and I ventured in to grab us a plate of morning time glory. It’s the best damn French toast on the planet! With a side of sausages, of course.

I’m a low carb kida gal. It’s working out well for me. But can’t nothing keep me from a plate of French toast when it’s time for carbification to be allowed on the menu.

Not even a minor technicality like drive by shootings can hold me back. Pretty sure I’m related to Superman. You can catch me leaping ‘hood buildings in a single bound to grab me a plate.

Like me on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter

Subscribe to YumYucky on YouTube

Stalk me on Instagram

Top 10 List of Emergency Foods for the Purse

…because storing emergency foods while on-the-go is real critical ‘n stuff. If you came looking for trail mix or carrots sticks, please… click away right now.

cornbread Top 10 List of Emergency Foods for the Purse

Keeping your purse stocked ain’t nothin’ to play with. It’s survival of the hungriest up in this beyotch when the stomachs start to growl. Are you prepared to fight your primal hunger?

TOP 10 EMERGENCY FOOD ITEMS TO KEEP IN THE PURSE (or man-purse)

1.   Plate of pancakes
2.   Double portion of prime rib
3.   Alfredo noodles with shrimps & scallops
4.   Snow crab legs
5.   Two slabs baby back ribs
6.   Sweet cornbread, approximately 15 servings
7.   Hot rolls with melted buttery goodness
8.   Box of wine (hydration is key)
9.   Doughnuts. All of them.
10. Bacon sammich, hold the bread

ADDITIONAL ACCESSORIES FOR THE PURSE

  • Pie shovel
  • Eating bib
  • Portable waffle iron
  • Mini folding snack table

Oh, shizzle! I’m gonna need a much bigger purse. What’s on YOUR emergency food list? Don’t be shy. Impress me.

Like me on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter

Subscribe to YumYucky on YouTube

Disclaimer: Not all exercise programs are suitable for everyone. Check with your doctor before beginning any exercise program. Neither Josie, YumYucky.com, nor anyone else associated with this website will be responsible or liable for any injury you sustain while exercising.