“Does this place have fried chicken? I’m in the mood for a cheat.” Aaron scanned the menu in a futile attempt to satisfy his stomach’s primal urge to stray from the wheat grass protein smoothie he enjoyed a few days earlier.
“Ummm…this an Italian restaurant.” Katy knew by now not to be surprised by anything that came out of Aaron’s mouth. “Order yourself some damn Fettuccine Alfredo if you wanna cheat.” She shook her head and buried it back into the menu to pick something from the 600 Calorie & Under section. “Filet medallions with roasted veggies looks like a good choice.”
“Nah. Alfredo sauce gives me the farts,” warned Aaron. “The real saucy kind of farts that linger heavy in the air and shrivel the nostril hairs. You sure you want me to order that?”
“You’re disgusting.” Katy peeked away from her menu and gave Aaron the same exact look she used to give her little brother when he made strange noises with his hand and armpit.
Aaron lowered Katy’s menu so he could see her face. “You are quite the enigma,” he said. “Why are you here with me? I’m like a pus-filled zit on the tip of your nose, yet here we are.”
“Well, you do have your quirks but I think you’re a funny guy. And besides, I wanna rub hot oil all over your sexy chest later on,” said Katy.
“Really!?” Aaron perked up in more ways than one.
“Oh my God, you gotta know I’m kidding, right? This is our first date. Calm down, bro.” Katy laughed. “I do think you’re funny, though.”
“So the hot-oil-on-my-chest thing is out of the question?” Aaron had hope in his voice. Katy stared back at him with a scolding look.
“Never mind,” he said. “I’m going to order a filet with asparagus and a side of mashed. But it’s gotta have gravy.” Aaron looked at Katy and spoke the word gravy with a wink and smile, as if it were code for let’s get freaky.
“Unnnnbelieveble.” Katy shook her head and giggled at Aaron’s frivolous innuendos. Just then, her cell phone rang. The 10-digit number on the caller ID popped up with all zeros. “Excuse me, I have to take this call,” she said anxiously.
Katy got up from their booth and headed outside. The sun had already set and the warm, California breeze gently tousled her brunette hair. It was much more comfortable outside than in the restaurant’s arctic blast setting of the air conditioning. She sat on an empty bench intended for patrons who were willing to wait excruciatingly long for a table on a Saturday night. Good thing it was Tuesday.
“Hello? Yes. I’m with him now…. No, I haven’t determined that yet…. I know, but…. but I honestly don’t think… Listen, he can’t be the guy. ”
Katy held the phone as she got an earful from the man on the other line. “Yes, I understand,” she said. “I’ll make sure it’s done, but I may need more time to….okay, okay. It’ll get done. I always do.”