Part 1: The Uncomfortable Introduction
Katy Andersen walked into Broad Street Gym and made a beeline for the locker room. Against her better judgement, she donned a pair of pink shorts with a white stripe on the side of each hip. Sure, they were cute, but the sizing was off — too small. Not only did it make the ride to the gym uncomfortable, a massive wedgie had now risen up to claim its rightful place digging up her backside.
This was Katy’s fate for having a Netflix marathon and baking muffins and on laundry day instead of taking the time to wash gym clothes that actually fit.
Ugh, why did I wear these shorts, she thought to herself. Just like her ex, the shorts were a big mistake. Thank God her winter coat concealed the atrocity as an emergency pair of capris waited in her gym bag.
“Katy? Excuse me…is it Katy?” an unknown voice called out from behind her in the main hallway of the building. As she turned around to see who it was, the wedgie dug deeper with a one-two punch to the butt crack.
The man calling her name was now in a slow jog to catch up to her. Katy had never seen this guy at the gym before. She did a quick assessment and determined him to be 6-foot-sexy. He wore black Adidas track pants and a gray tank top that showed off his muscular arms and shoulders. This mystery man had an athletic frame — definitely her type of guy.
“I see you’re into porn?” the man asked with a smirk on his face.
“Excuse me?” Katy spoke in a calm, yet firm tone with a stern look on her face. The man’s attractiveness did not grant him a free pass for disrespect. Katy was ready and willing to crush his man-jewels with a kick to the crotch if the offenses continued.
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. Food porn. I meant food porn,” he said as he demonstrated the international body language for I am an idiot: a self-induced smack to the forehead.
“I’m Aaron,” he said as he held out his hand to shake Katy’s. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms to block the inviting gesture.
“I couldn’t help but to notice your love of desserts. Your magazine fell out of your gym bag,” he said.
Aaron began flipping through Katy’s magazine. It was the February issue of Delectable Desserts. On the cover was a picture of a generous piece of peach cobbler. You can tell the cobbler was warm because the scoop of vanilla ice cream on top was melting over the sides of the cobbler in a gooey, delicious kind of way.
“How how do even you know my name? Are you some type of stalker creep?” asked Katy.
Aaron pointed to Katy’s gym bag with a “ha-ha” grin on his face. Her name was embroidered onto the side of the bag in big block letters.
“Look, I’m really sorry for the disrespect. It was a bad joke,” said Aaron. “But how does one get into the gym while smuggling a dessert magazine in her bag?” Aaron laughed as he asked the question in a playful manner. “Somewhere that has to be illegal, right?”
“Well, actually –” Katy began, but Aaron interrupted.
“No, wait. Let me guess. I bet somewhere in that bag you also have a stash of salted caramel candies and a cheesecake flattened by Saran wrap,” he said.
Katy stared at Aaron with utter annoyance. She was almost fully invested in the idea of proceeding with that crotch-kick.
“I’m such an idiot. I keep saying all the wrong things. Please accept the apology of a handsome fool?” Aaron asked with a big cheesy smile on his face.
Katy made another quick assessment. Aaron’s teeth were almost perfect. She had a feeling that smile of his got him out of trouble in the past. He probably used those Crest white strip thingies.
“Yes, of course,” Katy agreed.
“Yesss!! Thank you for your forgiveness!” shouted Aaron. He shot his arms up into the air in a victory pose.
“No. I mean, yes, of course you are an idiot,” said Katy. And with that, she snatched the magazine from Aaron’s hand and finished her trek to the locker room.
Part 2: Hey Girl
After the de-wedgie-fication process was complete and her strength workout was done, Katy headed to the cafe across the street. She ordered a mini blueberry scone and large Mocha-Cocoa-Latta with extra whip cream. She sat in a quiet corner at the far end of the cafe and flipped through her copy of Delectable Desserts.
When she got to page 12 of the magazine she giggled to herself and smiled from ear to ear. She took a bite out of her scone and then–
“Hey girl! Funny meeting you here.” It was Aaron.
Katy looked up from her magazine in mid-chew and rolled her eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she mumbled under her breath. A little bit of scone shot out of her mouth and landed on the magazine.
“Whatcha drinkin’ there?” Aaron asked, as he sat down uninvited to Katy’s table. “I got me a wheat grass protein smoothie”.
“I’m waiting for a friend. You should leave,” she said.
Aaron took a large slurp of the green concoction he ordered and picked up Katy’s drink.
“Ohh no. This looks lethal,” he said. “Do you know many calories are in this thing?”
“What I eat is none of your business,” said Katy without looking up from her magazine. She turned to page 14.
“You wanna try my smoothie? I can get another straw if you don’t want to use mine,” Aaron offered.
“You don’t know anything about me and no I don’t want your nasty drink,” said Katy.
“You seem to be in good shape, but I can help you out with some healthy eating tips if you–”
Katy slammed her fists onto the table and stood half-way up. She leaned in and stared into Aaron’s face. “Look asshole. I don’t need your help. You see the food porn on the cover of this magazine? That’s my recipe on the cover!”
Katy flipped back to page 12 and tossed the magazine on the table. “Look right here,” she pointed. “It says recipe by Katy Andersen. You see this scone and drink? I come in here once a month to treat myself. That’s it. Just once a month! And you…you see this bag?”
Katy began fumbling through her bag…and then fumbling some more. “Well I can’t find my mace but I’d sure like to use it on you right now.”
“Oh my God, I looooove your energy. You so damn feisty, girl. We should go out. When can I take you out? It’s Valentine’s Day. We should go out tonight,” Aaron whispered.
Katy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Before she could utter another word, she heard her name being called from the front door.
“Katy! Hey girl!” It was her new friend, Ann, from the gym. They had been treadmill buddies a few times and agreed to meet at the cafe today. Ann caught up with Katy and Aaron at the table.
“Oh my goodness, Aaron! What are you doing here?” Ann was happy to see him and gave him a hug. He hugged her back and grabbed her butt. Katy kept her cool but her jaw was dropping on the inside.
“Hey baby. Oh nothing. I was just getting me a drink. I saw this lady here dropped her magazine, so I came over to return it,” he explained to Ann.
“Katy, this is my boyfriend, Aaron. This is so cool that you guys met like this!” Ann was obviously the gullible type. She didn’t read into Aaron’s lousy story.
“Oh really,” Katy responded with a complete lack of enthusiasm. She began packing her stuff. “Listen, I’m really sorry, but I have an emergency. I have to leave. Why don’t you two take my table.”
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, Katy,” said Ann. “I’ll catch you at the gym next week maybe?”
“Sure. Next week,” said Katy. She was half-way to the door when she looked back and made eye contact with Aaron. By the time she got into her car, all she could do was laugh at the situation in disbelief.
Katy started her car and flipped back to page 12 to take one more proud look at her recipe.
“What the hell! When–? ” she yelled. Scribbled across the picture of her recipe with a pen were the words: Hey girl, call me. 555-5649. You know you wanna. Aaron.
Katy looked up into the window of the cafe. She had left her Mocha-Cocoa-Latta on the table. She reached for her cell phone and held it in her hand for a moment. Then she locked Aaron’s number into her contacts.
Aaron was right the entire time. Katy did wanna. And so began the drama.
LET’S BE FRIENDS!