putrid cockroach image via Wikipedia creative commons
Back in the day when I was young, dumb, on my own, broke as hell, and living in a rickety-ass apartment that literally had a hole in the wall…. I bought a can of green beans from the ghetto grocery store.
Got home. Grabbed my can opener. Opened the can.
And what did I behold?
There was a dead roach trapped inside from canning at the green bean factory. He had been in the can for so long, his body turned green, same color as the beans.
And you know what?
I was so hungry, I just picked that roach right out the can and ate the green beans anyways. Didn’t even think twice about it (I know. Gross, right?). The upside is that I lived to tell the tale and did not contract some sort of flesh eating roach disease. The green bean juice must’ve purified the contamination. Yes?
CHILLIN’ IN THE ROACH MOTEL
Now I know the mention of a roach motel may not seem like a savory subject, but home fitness can be much like the story I just told. The Roach Motel of Home Fitness is the spirit of making due with what you’ve got to make fitness happen despite any limitations. Accomplishing a workout in the roach motel is much better than doing nothing at all.
Ain’t got no fancy gym equipment? Think you need to have X, Y and Z before getting serious about transforming your body?
The beautiful thing about Roach Motel status is that it’s usually only temporary. The accommodations can slowly morph into the palatial estate of home fitness you’ve always wanted if you make that a goal.
I remember starting out at home with only a pair of 5 and 8-lb weights and a few fitness DVDs. That’s it. I built my home workout arsenal slowly and, although I’m still building it today, I’m pretty pleased with the home workout tools I’ve amassed so far. But it took time! I finally have my “palace”.
ROACH MOTEL NINJA MOVES
If you don’t have extra money right now for a full workout system or a certain piece of equipment you really want (Kettlebells are expensive), you have alternatives to get in an epic workout anyhow.
Chillin’ in the Roach Motel doesn’t mean you have to live in fitness-squalor. Make due with what you have and keep it movin’. So long as you have the ability to move your body and the will to get yo’ ass up & active, that’s all you need to get fit. The fancier stuff will come in time.
- If you don’t have a speed rope, use your “invisible” rope instead.
- No kettlebell? Then swing a dumbbell. M’kay?
- Got physical limitations? Don’t abandon the entire workout — improvise & modify the moves!
- Don’t have cash to be sinking into popular (freaking expensive!) fitness programs? Then lurk on Youtube and find some free workouts.
I’m not just blowing hot air when I say this. I’ve done all of the above at one time or another.
There is always a way. There is never NOT a way. If you truly, for-realz, honestly can’t workout because the dog ate your sports bra or your ingrown toenail is squirting out pus, you still have the ability to control your eating. Diet is more than half the battle anyways. But please refrain from slurping on canned roach juice if you can.
So tell me… ever done your workout at the roach motel? Or have you always had super-fancy workout accommodations?