As a fitness lover, you just might experience the wrath of your haters. If you do, they might womp you with a custom made cursing like you’ve never experienced before. Here are a few sample cursings from the haters I suggest you try to avoid…
1. May your post-workout armpit emit the odor of 1,000 raw clams festering in 99 degree weather.
2. May your sports bra snap in 35 different places as you jog in the rain while wearing a white T-shirt.
3. May the butt crack sweat on your workout shorts be visible to the hottest guy in gym.
4. May your iPod get stuck on 1970′s Polka tunes that yo’ momma downloaded. If you wanna workout to music, that’s what you’re listening to.
5. May all those ab-squeezing crunch exercises create a laxative effect inside your lower stomach. And may there be no toilet paper in the bathroom.
6. May all your workout DVDs be clawed repeatedly by the neighbor’s pet hyena.
7. May the threading on the booty-part of your Yoga pants completely unravel during Downward Dog.
8. May you get stuck in a lucid dream of 10,000 burpees… No, make that 100,000 burpees.
Whoa. These cursings are brutal, but your haters can’t EVER hold you down. Keep it going, baby. Do yo’ thang!