My children have been terrorizing me. It’s been quite an ordeal. Please feel sorry for me, why don’t ya. Surely I’m trying to get over the terror. Seven bullet-points of news about what’s been up with me is all I could pull off during my recuperation phase. And so I beg of you…enjoy:
1. Although I’ve been claiming “40″ for a few weeks now, my 40th birthday is actually this coming Sunday. I’ve pre-ordered my cakes (yes, more than one cake) and I’m ready to fro-down. This is serious business, ya’ll. I refuse to leave the cake-ordering up to someone else. Look at what happened last year when I entrusted that duty to another. ((eyeroll))
2. …so Greedy Kid #1 says to me, “You look like a mom in that outfit. Please change your clothes.” Well thanks for that, kid. Shall I put on my circa 1992 booty jean shorts instead?
3. Last Friday night I ate some pizza. And then proceeded to fart the entire rest of the night into the next day. It was so aromatically terrible, I wanted to run away and escape from my own self. Greedy Kid #2 was really pissed off about it. He says I should hold in my gas like all the polite people do.
4. My eating tends be a little less disciplined on the weekends and I wanna change that. I don’t feel threatened (I never allow myself to be threatened by food) and I’m not worried — just gotta reign it in a bit. So in addition to my morning Shakeology-slurping during the week, my plan is to start gulping Shakeology 2-times per day each weekend, for maybe 2 or 3 weekends in a row. This will most certainly lead to accelerated weight loss, but that’s not really my goal here. My goal is greater discipline with my eating. This plan of mine will help to shut down and shut out certain not-so-good food choices as an option. And so that’s exactly how it’s gonna be. If you’ve got any questions about my plan or about Shakeology in general, just leave me a comment or send me an email. The act of disciplining myself isn’t always fun, but it make me a better woman in many more areas than where food is concerned.
6. …and then another time, Greedy Kid #1 says to me, “Quit complaining about your cramps. Grow some lady-balls and deal it.” Why the hell is this child pickin’ on me? So very heartless.
7. Do you know how hard it is to blog and watch TV at the same time? It’s a damn good thing my brain is multi-functional. Although I at times I feel like I’m loosing my mind and could surely use an upgrade. O_O