He Called Me a Fake-Azz Vegetarian (The Recipe)

veggie sandwich recipe

I’ve had it up to here with the Hungry Husband (his new name) bitching & whining about my personal food choices. Although I’m not a vegetarian, I have an appreciation for vegetarian fanfare, such as veggie wraps, veggie sammiches and vegetarian soups. I started out buying this stuff at overpriced fancy cafes. But now that I’m creating these meals at home?? I’ve been labeled a fake-azz vegetarian.

What the hell does that even mean? I refuse to waste my brain cells trying to wrap my head around the “fake-azz” concept, yet in honor of this persecution I am suffering, I give thee the recipe for the my “Fake Azz Vegetarian Sammich”.

“That’s not a damn sammich. It’s salad on a piece of bread.” ~ Hungry Husband

Just spread hummus on the bread and add your veggie ingredients. I’m stoked about Arnold 12-Grain bread, because it has zero High Fructose Corny-ness and contains less sugar (all bread has sugar in it) than the average slice of bread.

Healthy eaters of all kinds have their oatmeal and their egg whites; their whey protein powder, protein bars, and even their raw diets, shakes and juicing cleanses. Do you see me bitching at them for the choices they deem good for their fitness goals?


I’d tell you that I just wanna be left alone with my sammich, but won’t you join me in a kumbaya moment and try a vegetarian sammich, too? There is more than one road that leads to a Desirable Body. Surely I’m on my own beaten path to getting the body I want. If I’m a fake-azz vegetarian, so be it. But my stomachs are also craving a juicy prime rib steak. ((burp))

Holla if you hear me: Ever try a veggie sammich? Do you likey or no likey a sammich with no meat on it?


  1. Devan says:

    Hey, I am so gonna try it! Thanks for the bread tip – I am in constant serch of carbs that are not the debbil. I love hummus, so there’s that….I will try my own version and let ya know. I think it’s a perfectly acceptable thing. (Though I will still eat meat too at other times). I love your blog. :)

  2. Barbara says:

    Looks good! Reminds me of a veggie sandwich I used to get here in town. Some days I don’t feel like eating meat. Other days, I want the whole dang cow.
    Barbara recently posted..Halloween Recipe: Monkey Poop

  3. I am totally guilty of being a “fake azz vegetarian”. I grew up in living a mostly vegetarian lifestyle and it wasn’t until I met my husband that I began eating meat daily! Veggie sammiches, wraps, and the like are DELISH. I still want to do my 21 Day Vegan Challenge but I am completely scared! Life without meat could be hazardous to those around me!

  4. Emergefit says:

    Meat meat more meat and a salad every so often is my mantra! That said, i hit the local vegan shop once a week or so and enjoy a muschroom/spinach panini with a dash of feta on it. Turns out, it’s my favorite meal of the week — and meatless no less.
    Emergefit recently posted..Some Mixed Thoughts On Larger Purpose, Food Technology, Prejudice, And Change…

  5. mimi says:

    My Sweetie is an omnivore, and i’m a vegan. Guess what? He doesn’t complain about what i eat, and i don’t complain about (and i even cook) what he eats.

    Your Hungry Husband needs to take a chill pill maybe?

    Great looking sammich, too.

    • yumyucky says:

      no waaay. I didn’t realize you were vegan. For how long now? Why the decision? Was it tough in the beginning? Please educate me.

  6. Erin says:

    Being a total meat-eating paleo freak, I do have a guilty lil’ secret. The #6 (vegetarian) unwich from Jimmy John’s is my favorite. I could eat one of those for lunch and then cram some meat down my craw for supper. No shame! My boyf doesn’t understand how I can eat a single meal without meat..

    Would Hungry Husband just TRY your sammich? Maybe then he’d have food in his mouth, and he’d shut up. :-) Haha
    Erin recently posted..How to Go to the Movies for LESS THAN $20

  7. Kumbaya, kumbaya. Come on now, get your lighter up and wafting through the air with me. Yes, I eat veggie sandwiches. No, the hubster does not tease me. Nor does he follow my good eating example. What is his problem?! Ha ah aa aa
    KymberlyFunFit recently posted..I Am Awesome: You Can’t Fake Awesome

  8. I often start off with a veggie sandwich, but then I think, this would be so much better with a little bacon on it.
    Jeremy Logsdon recently posted..Beginning a New Workout Regime

  9. Alan Ali says:

    That looks GOOD!!!!

  10. Patty says:

    I will try it! Starring it in my google reader! Looks delicious :)
    Patty recently posted..Friday Food Journal

  11. Lisa says:

    I was a vegetarian for 12 years. I’m not one any longer, but I still like having vegetarian meals once in awhile! A veggie sandwich with some cream cheese sounds awesome right now.
    Lisa recently posted..Current Obsessions

  12. Paula says:

    I eat vegetarian sandwiches about 2 times a week. I like to roast yellow and zuchinni squash with onions, peppers and spices then put them on a nice crusty bread with feta or smoked cheddar cheese and grill on my George Foreman grill. Yummy!!!

  13. merri says:

    All bread doesn’t have sugar in it though. A lot don’t… I even went to a bread making class from a local bakery, and there was no sugar in the bread we made. I get Alvarado st. bakery bread, which has no sugar (except one flavor does). It’s localish though so you may not have it, but i’m pretty sure Ezekiel bread doesn’t either, as well as a number of others. I’m fake vegetarian too! It’s called flexitarian one of my friends told me. Everyone thinks I’m vegetarian and as I was eating my gorgonzola pear sandwich today I started talking about the meat I’d eaten last nite and my coworkers were shocked – but you’re a vegetarian! Lol. Nope. I’m totally loving being a sometimes vegetarian on a healthy, tasty and moral level! I actually make sandwiches like this one sometimes, bread, hummus, veggies! Theyre yum!
    merri recently posted..Work Bathrooms

  14. Coco says:

    I love veggie sandwiches. And since I’m fakin’ vegetarian, no vegan, I can add a slice of cheese. 😉
    Coco recently posted..Cutting Myself Some Slack (Army Ten Miler Training)

  15. Cassie says:

    I love veggie sandwiches.. have it all the time especially veggie panini’s with roasted veggies and mozzarella.
    Cassie recently posted..What’s Cooking for Breakfast

  16. Heidi says:

    I’m with Cassie! I’m not vegan/vegetarian, but love roasted veggie sandwiches. My favorite – roasted portobellos and red peppers with mozzarella, tomato, red onion and a schmear of hummus or greek yogurt. So tasty!!

  17. FatFighterTV says:

    Oh, Josetpe. Once again, you have me giggling. Your Hungry Husband better watch out with those words! I <3 vegetarian stuff and I'm not a vegetarian either. :)
    FatFighterTV recently posted..Braised Balsamic Chicken

  18. Umapuma says:

    haha, he’s in SPACE! I likey me some veggieness, no meat thank you but perhaps a subsitute like Quorn, bean burgers, tempeh etc. I will join you in eating a veggie sammich!

  19. Alex Juel says:

    I eat practically this same thing all the time and I love it! I use Ezekial sprouted bread and add avocado and mustard. You don’t need meat with all of the healthy fats and protein in hummus and avocado 😉
    Alex Juel recently posted..The Best Health and Fitness Articles of the Week #86 – Chocolate is Natures Viagra, a Lesson in Kipping Pull-Ups and Dumb-Ass Vaccine Myths


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