There’s Some Serious Confusion and I Need to Clear My Name

First, let me tell you how it really went down: It was 6:50am in the morning when I was hanging some towels outside on the clothesline. I had on raggedy-ass stretchy pants, some kind of scary-looking grandmaw sweater, and sneakers with no socks (do not judge my early morning fashion). That’s when, after 3 times of telling the dang kid to take the trash to the curb (as if he listened?), I heard the trash truck coming. So I dashed across yard, ran passed the garage, and scrambled wildly to get the trash can to the curb. I did all of this with my clothes on, of course.

But this is what my insubordinate, non-chores-doing kid told the rest of the greedy family: “Mom was outside nekid, hanging up clothes. And then she started running across the yard all crazy for no reason.”


See how stuff gets twisted. Did I achieve a running speed so epic that my clothes peeled off from sonic-boom mileage per hour? I am here to clear my name. You believe my side of the story, don’t you?

He didn’t do the dang trash and then tries to deflect the issues off himself by accusing me of nekid. Place your bets right now on if this kid gets grounded or not.


  1. Mark says:

    I kind of think you were naked!  You know, being proud of your newly fit self and stuff.  And good for you!

  2. Coco says:

    I think you were so busy yelling at him to get the trash out you hung your clothes on the line and then, well, yes, we ALL know the rest of the story.

  3. Kelly says:

    Josie, just admit it & come clean already.  You were so damn nekkid.  I saw the pics on PerezHilton, mkay?  :-)

    • Yum Yucky says:

      for realz? I’m on Perez? I’ve finally made the big time!!

      • @somerskys says:

        @Yum Yucky, i’m afraid u were on tmz also!!! im jus lieennnn but it makes for a good story and a needed laugh out loud moment, like Anna said. especially in this stressful scientific community that i work in. S==T=R=E=S=S!! but josie’s blog makes me laugh ,so its all good!!!

  4. @somerskys says:

    i believe ur side of the story Josie 0-0 but i do know that nuclear plants near u can cause weirdness to happen in our brains. BUT i knoe u were not ne-kid. he was just tryin to deflect the issue off of him not takin out the trash cans. sooowah why dont u have hime sign a contract that from now on every trash day he will take out the trash otherwise he has to be SIGH grounded or something he doesnt want to happen. BUT I BELIEVE U JOSIE HAVA BEAUTIFUL HAPPY SOULFUL HIPPY HOPPITY DAY OR HIPHOP DAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY GOOOOD sung to a hip hop beat MY ATTEMPT AT HIP HOP SOUNDS LADDAH GIRLFRIEND

  5. Jack Sh*t says:

    Reminds me of the conversation I had with my employer a while back: “Who are you gonna believe, your trusted employee or some stupid security camera?”

  6. Molly Nitka says:


    Yes he gets grounded. He’s probably going to tell everyone at school too, “Mommy was running nekid outside this morning!” Be prepared for child services to come knocking on your door. At least you don’t take your kid tanning..

  7. Anna says:

    Aw, Josie. Thanks for another laugh-out-loud moment. You are too funny. So glad I have your posted to brighten my days. Cheers from Boston. And when are coming to my lovely town???????

  8. Gracie says:

    OMG…I love reading about your mis-adventures!!!!!

  9. Emergefit says:

    And this is the stuff and the means that entire religions have been built on. I can see now, Church Of The Nekid Yuck…

  10. Emergefit says:

    Not to suggest you being nekid is Yuck, but just a tie-in the the name of the blog. You nekid, me would like. Still for your mom too :-)

  11. Hey, the way you been working out, you would have made the neighbors jealous with your new bod! 😉 The kid, grounded for not doing his chores! :-)

  12. Jennifer says:

    God, I love your stories!

  13. 444 says:

    Were you wearing skin-tone clothes? That fools the eye every time. The garbage truck men probably thought they were in for a show when they saw you coming.

  14. Angela Pea says:

    Hmmm….I live out in the boonies, but I’ve never hung laundry nekid. I’m toned and worked out…but I’m still half a century old and have brought forth the same number of offspring as you.  Nothing short of miraculous boob lifting, skin tucking and dermal polishing could convince me to be nekid outside.  

    Therefore, I vote that you were, indeed, clothed and that Greed Kid gets grounded for slander.  And assigned to laundry duty for a month. 

  15. Lance says:

    I’ve found just the thing for you, Josie!! Yep!!

    The Naked Pumpkin Run in Boulder, CO. This is SO YOU!!!! I know (know know KNOW!) you’ve already got the pumpkin on your head thing down…and now…I’m goin’ with your kids on this one…you’ve got the naked running down, too!! This is TOO PERFECT!!!

    P.S. My son wants to participate…hmmm….I wonder where this is going…

    • yumyucky says:

      so who actually goes naked? Me or the pumpkin? I have confusion. And don’t try to act like it’s your son who wants to participate. You know darn well it’s YOU.

      • Lance says:

        …confusion is good (at least that’s what I’m going with…as it’s the place I’m usually at…)

        Oh – and I know nothing (again: I refer to the kid – who has no problem telling me that…)

  16. angela says:

    HAHAHAHHA! Can’t believe I missed this one. Your kids are awesome.

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