In the pic: Henry and Wolfie

Congratulations. You have just entered Lame Excuse Awareness Week. Now let us examine poor Henry. His relentless couch-azzing to enjoy all the hottest fitness infomercials has turned into fitness-sabotage. And Wolfie’s gotta pee. Can’t the canine get a doggy walk?

More lame excuses why Henry can’t workout:

• His wife, Mildred, is bitching again. Henry needs to de-stress by going catatonic.
• His knees are fused in bent position. Who can burpee like that?
• His jock strap went missing at the dry cleaners. No jock strap — no workout.
• His nostril hairs have grown too long. No way he can breathe through cardio.
• His sauteed unicorn meat requires relentless stirring. That’s an arm workout right there.

Please don’t be like Henry. If you’re hoarding lame excuses, gather them up right now and dump them off over here.

But if you thirst for more inspiration to go excuse-free, check out last time’s Lame Excuse Awareness Week when we explored “poor Nicole” and her reasons for not getting fit.

Have a great week, everybody!

[photo credit]