…it might be you, it might not be you. But maybe you should just hear me out anyway.
I’m learning to embrace failure and mistakes. I encourage you to do the same.
Failure and mistakes used to squash my confidence. It made it hard for me to look at myself in the mirror and see any good or hope for what I might be able to accomplish in the future. Was I a loser? Was it even possible to get it right? Between me telling myself I’m a screw up and knowing some other people felt that same way about me, I was really effed up in my thinking.
Sure. Screw ups, mess ups and plain old bad decision making do cause loss and set back. But who the hell in this world hasn’t had loss or setback? Who claimed we were entitled to a life free from any of that?
You can do one of two things to address this very human problem:
1) Wallow in the failure and mistakes. Let the hurtful blow escalate in its power to cripple you from believing you can ever change or have anything better in your life. Harp on it. Let it totally take over your thoughts as a constant reminder of why you can’t have what it is you’re seeking after. Because it just too grand or would take too long or it’s totally out of reach because it’s damn near impossible anyway. And you’re just not cut out for anything better than what’s going on in your life right this very second.
2) Let the failures and mistakes roll off your back like water. Do NOT let it consume you. Learn from it. Now you know what NOT to do. What approach NOT to take. Even if some mess ups continue, if you have real desire for change, growth and improvement, you will NOT be stopped. It might not be easy or always comfortable, but you will make a way and that way will work, and you will have what it is you’re seeking after.
Do I want to be screwing up all the time and making wrong moves? Nope. But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna waste precious time inflicted bashes upon myself when I could be moving forward instead; when I could be avoiding a ditch by not repeating that same insanity. Ditches will still be there. You might slip and twist your ankle a little bit, but there’s no need to totally fall in the pit. Not repeatedly, anyway. Not if you embrace the failures in a positive way.
Don’t waste time wallowing and allowing that beast to plant negativity in your mind. That’s not helping you at all. Spend time learning, avoiding the same mistakes, and paving out ways that work.