Fitness Romance SagaTasting! Eggo Fruit Pizza (huh?)
March 24th, 2011 • 24 Comments | Leave a Comment »
‘Tis might be better to indulge in fresh hang-nail shavings on the floor of this bathroom than to eat the Eggo Fruit Pizza. ‘Tis could be safer to invite this man into your car than to stomach the lousy Fruit Pizza.
When Eggo says “fruit”, they’re talking about chopped up particles that if you squished back together MAYBE equals the size of one lonely strawberry. Just one. And these strawberry residues are mooshy-gooshy-goo.
The “sauce” is a thin film of Neufchatel cheese that got scared and ran to one side of the pizza, because there was none on the other side. The crust resembles a thin pita consistency that does not match, blend or flow with the other putrid flavors. The granola is nothing more than oatmeal flakes. No clusters, just sweetened flakes.
All of this sensational, personal-sized fail-flare for only 400 calories and 66 grams of carbs? Why not buy it then?
Please make it stop. The Eggo Fruit Pizza is not only in your grocer’s freezer, it’s also served as an appetizer at the gates of hell and doubles as a cheap alternative to the stomach pump in the hospital emergency rooms around the country.
FRUIT PIZZA NOTES
- Price Paid: $2.49
- Serving Size: 1 Pizza
- Calories: 400
- Fat Calories: 110
- Total Fat: 12g
- Sodium: 390mg
- Carbs: 66g
- Fiber: 4g
- Sugars: 18g
- Protein: 10g
REACTIONS FROM THE TASTE TEST CREW
Health-Hater Husband: (laughing hysterically) Whoever made this did an epic fail.
Greedy Kid #2: Ain’t no way I’m eating that.
Greedy Baby: No! I want pizza.
Yum UP! to: The day this product gets pulled from store shelves.
Yuck Down to: The Eggo execs who decided this was a good idea.
View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.
24 Comments
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lisa March 24th, 2011 at 21:49
“The “sauce” is a thin film of Neufchatel cheese that got scared and ran to one side of the pizza” hahahahha. you never fail to make me laugh!
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Coco March 24th, 2011 at 21:50
Wow! I need to spend more time in the frozen food aisle because I haven’t even seen these! My store has the healthier stuff (broccoli, Amy’s, Vitamuffins) on a different aisle! Couldn’t they have at least used a waffle?
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yumyucky Reply:
March 24th, 2011 at 9:52 pm
oh my gawsh! Waffle Breakfast Pizza sounds delish. I can make that.
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catherine March 24th, 2011 at 23:08
Guffawing over here. Tell us how you really feel next time OK?
(Also, we inadvertently did a smackdown of Bisquick heart healthy pancake mix vs. Quaker oatmeal pancake mix. Let’s just say that the Quaker should stick to his day job of instant oatmeal packets and NOT stray into the pancake arena.)
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yumyucky Reply:
March 25th, 2011 at 7:15 am
Ohhh. I think I’ve tasted those Quaker flap jacks. Smack down totally acceptable.
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Reinaldo March 24th, 2011 at 23:22
Eeeewww this looks nasty!! Not gonna eat it, ever. Send any leftovers to @RoniNoone, she would eat anything with “PIZZA” written on the box.
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MizFit March 25th, 2011 at 6:32
I should be embarrassed.
I am not.
That looks so good to me
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Erin March 25th, 2011 at 11:41
Gross.
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dragonmamma/naomi March 25th, 2011 at 12:14
That did not look or sound appetizing at all. You’re a brave woman to try it.
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Jody - Fit at 53 March 25th, 2011 at 14:21
Glad I am not a pizza fan! UGH!
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Roni March 25th, 2011 at 16:58
EVEN this pizza lover isn’t up to this challenge. I agree with your husband…. epic fail!
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JourneyBeyondSurvival March 25th, 2011 at 19:35
Blech.
I hope you burned it.
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Patrick March 25th, 2011 at 20:04
HEY, eggo pizza is my idea! I did that in college like 23 years ago. My fave was eggo pizza with peanut butter instead of pasta sauce and them salty bacon & sausage all over the peanut butter. 1 minute in the toaster oven, yummoooo!
Thanks for your kind words of support on my blog; great to have you in my corner!
Have a great weekend!
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Jane March 25th, 2011 at 21:50
Never seen of heard of these things before, but it sounds as though you thoroughly enjoyed the taste test experience! – sorry but I am laughing so much at your description. You’ll be having them again? NO?
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Sheri March 26th, 2011 at 10:34
Sounds horrible! I wouldn’t go near it!
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Angelia Sims March 26th, 2011 at 11:20
I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
Let go my Eggo into the TRASH.
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Michael Corley March 26th, 2011 at 23:14
It looks SOOOOOO gross. It’d be hard to get around that. Unless I was hungry… then NOM.
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angela March 27th, 2011 at 19:38
“The Eggo Fruit Pizza is not only in your grocer’s freezer, it’s also served as an appetizer at the gates of hell and doubles as a cheap alternative to the stomach pump in the hospital emergency rooms around the country.”
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!
I think I saw these in the store and thought WTF?! And then upon seeing your post I again said WTF?! I need one of these jobs where they pay people for these horrible ideas. I could have horrible ideas for money.
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Sparkina March 30th, 2011 at 0:38
Fruit Pizza, as a dish, sounds yummy but this particular product sounds gross, from your description, and doesn’t even look all that appetizing. I’ll bet bucks to bagels that if I took a lightly oven-toasted flour tortilla, some Fage greek yogurt, some fig jam, and an assortment of FRESH fruits — berries, peaches, mangoes, nectarines, figs — I bet I could make a breakfast fruit pizza fit for a roman emperor!
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yumyucky Reply:
March 30th, 2011 at 12:03 pm
It sounds good! Fig jam? Never tried it. I should explore that.
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thirteenlbs March 30th, 2011 at 9:28
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAA “Appetizer at the gates of hell”
I love you.
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yumyucky Reply:
March 30th, 2011 at 12:02 pm
LOL! I love you back.
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Linda March 30th, 2011 at 22:32
Back in the day, I used to love the fruit pizza on the Pizza Hut buffet. I was hoping for something to bring back the delicious memories. Worst Food Ever. I spit out the one bite I tried and threw the rest in the trash can.
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merri March 31st, 2011 at 18:17
Ew! Just that photo looks gross! You are brave, doing these taste tests!
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