Tasting! Whole Grain Fig Newtons

fignewton Tasting! Whole Grain Fig NewtonsI don’t care if the figs came from an ancient African jungle, or if the whole grains were harvested from the virgin coasts of Antarctica. Why is Nabisco trying to pimp out some “healthy” Whole Grain Fig Newtons when these cookies contain a bastard of trilogy of sugar, corn syrup AND high fructose corny-ness?

For what and for why? It’s like paying money to get punched in the face 3 times and spat on. Unless you’re into that whole S&M thing, do you really want that kind of aggravation?

But it’s really too bad, because the whole grain covering is very impressive. The look and outside taste of the cookie with its “whole grain wheat flour” main ingredient is definitely the real deal. I want more of that part, but Mr. Newton screwed up on the cookie’s figgy guts, including a strange aftertaste the that regular Fig Newtons don’t have.

Sure, you can taste the fig, but the hyperactivity of the sweetness will have you begging to be pummeled with a power washer. You can’t even enjoy the damn thing. I’d be willing to allow this as a sweet indulgence if it ONLY contained sugar, but it’s got too many BS ingredients for me to be wasting my greedy on.

FIGGY NOTES

  • Price Paid: $4.29
  • Serving Size: 2 cookies
  • Calories: 100
  • Fat Calories: 20
  • Total Fat: 2g
  • Sodium: 110mg
  • Carbs: 22g
  • Fiber: 3g
  • Sugars: 13g
  • Protein: 1g

REACTIONS FROM THE TASTE TEST CREW

Health-hater Husband: But I like it. It’s pretty good, yo!

Greedy Kid #2: I hate Fig Newtons. Hold it – are you gonna write that, Mom? The company might read it.

Greedy Kid #3: Can I spit it out now?

Yum UP! to: Childish food-spitters.

Yuck Down to: Hyperactive cookies.

View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.

Comments

  1. lisa says:

    aw, thats upsetting. i love fig newtons!!!

  2. skippymom says:

    I knew I wouldn’t be buying these [whole wheat, really?] but wanted to see what you had to say.  Three sugars is SCARY – it makes me wonder what is in the regular.  We don’t buy them often [once a year maybe if the mood hits] but if it has the trifecta of sugars what is the world coming too? hee

    Thanks for the heads up.  We can always count on you Josie.

  3. Coco says:

    D@mn! I just bought some regule Fig Newtons last week for a pre-run snack when I can’t suck down a protein shake. I didn’t even think to read the label, but it has the same terrible sugar trifecta!

    I usually read labels, but I guess since I wasn’t buying a “healthy” product it didn’t even cross my mind to check the label.

    • Josie says:

      Most misleading cookies ever! With all that overloaded sweetness in it, the running police might arrest you for using performance enhancing sugahs. Sorry, dude. I gotta report you.

  4. Trish @I_am_Succeeding says:

    I like fig newtons, BUT I think I will still pass on these….cookies are cookies. =)

  5. 444 says:

    Probably the combination of unearthly sugars and chaff from the grist mill will have you root-a-toot-tootin’ the newton all the way to the baff-rootin-room. Save them for when someone can’t move their bowels.

  6. Miz says:

    Im so weird in that I love the newtons.
    ALL KINDS.
    Im the misfit that FRUIT AND CAKE!!! commercial was created for as, to me, the newton is indeed divine :)

  7. Fig Newtons remind me of my Grandma of all people. She always had them at her house and I know that I could actually cut one end of that plastic package and slide and entire row right down my gullet. 

    That being said I haven’t tried the whole grain.

  8. It really ticks me off when something marketed as a health food has HFCS in it.

    I actually made fig newtons one time, with figs picked off the tree in my back yard. They were so good, but, man, talk about a ton of work! (Peeling, boiling down the figs, etc) Definitely a once in a lifetime experience.

  9. merri says:

    I used to LOVE fig newtons, esp as a kid. The regular kind. But im pretty sure the regular kind have hfcs in them too, so I havent eaten them in forever. Its very sneaky to make something look healthy to people who arent smart enough to read the back label and ingredients. But I guess people should take responsibility and check that out before they put it in their carts. I bet wholefoods or trader joes or some bakery has a healthier version of these..

  10. Consumer says:

    I don’t know why people are so upset??? It is a well known fact that HFCS and sugar are exactly the same. HFCS has no more calories and does not turn to fat quicker than sugar. Nutritionally, they are exactly the same. Do some basic research people!

  11. Adriana Atkinson says:

    Losing weight for some is hard enough. I think blogging about food and its health contents is one of the biggest downers for people in transition to a healthier lifestyle. Honestly most of the packaged foods that claim to be organic are not honestly what they say they are. I think we should start teaching people how to clean their minds before we teach them how to clean their kitchen cupboards. Snacks as the one you mentioned are many people’s favorite choice of sweets. Maybe preaching on limitation and quantity rather instilling fear of the ingredients might be a better approach to healthy teaching. Becoming a Sports Medicine major really helped me look at weight loss at another perspective.

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