I’m professional in Greedy-ism and highly fluent in Foodgasms. Since I posses these qualifying nonsense expertises, I bring you the Best and Nastiest Taste Tests of 2010. But first? The Taste Test Crew page has been updated with new pics of the Greedy Kids, so go check that out.
BEST OF 2010
This was a tough one, people. The best isn’t simply about good flavors. Here’s the criteria for the 5 best of 2010:
- It has to taste good. doh!
- Must be reasonably priced. It can’t give my wallet a concussion.
- Available to me in most local stores (so it’s probably easy for you to find, too).
- I buy it often because my stomach and/or family demands it.
Amy’s Rice Mac & Cheese: Eh, at $3.99 a meal, it’s been argued that it’s too pricey for frozen food, yet the taste, quality and euphoric eating experience just might persuade you that this stuff is well worth the price tag for lunch or dinner munching.
Crystal Light Pure Fitness: I’d rather have Pure Fitness-infused water that’s sweetened with sugar and Rebiana (Stevia) at only 15 calories per serving, than to opt for that zero calorie crap that’s been chemically sweetened with Aspartame or Sucralose. Pure Fitness makes water gulping so easy.
Green Giant Immunity Blend Veggies: The “immunity blend” name might be gimmicky, but there’s nothing tricky about a 100 calorie mini bag of veggies that’s been seasoned with garlic and olive oil like you cooked it fresh yourself. I keep these in the fridge at work for those times when a junk food craving smacks the hell outta me. The awesome flavor of the Giant is great for snacking.
Pepperidge Farm Stone Baked Artisan Rolls: These are new on the grocery store scene, so keep you eyes peeled and your Food Trap open wide. But warning! Save these for a special occasion, ‘lest you swallow these delicious rolls whole. Why? Because they taste SO FREAKIN’ GOOD!
Pillsbury Simply Buttermilk Biscuits: If you’re gonna have a food fight, please don’t use these biscuits. No enemy of yours deserves the pleasure of being hit in the head with the only buttermilk biscuit that I’ve ever loved. But if you must throw the damn things, just aim over this way.
Fiber Plus Cinnamon Oat Crunch: The sticker-shock price of over $4 a measly 11.5 ounce box prevents this cereal being one of the best. Unless you catch a coupon off the back of a Fiber Plus Bar box or buy it at Target for 1/2 the price, you’ll be getting yourself robbed at the regular grocery store. Yet the mildly sweet taste is spot on with only 8 grams of sugar per serving. Add in the those 9 grams of fiber (whoa) and you’ve got yourself a cereal that requires multiple bowls of chewing.
NASTIEST OF 2010
Behold the top 3 of pure nastiness that caused unfair affliction to my Food Trap. Ever had broiled kitty claws sauteed in rancid gremlin giblets? Ever tasted pan seared seagull sludge smathered on deep fried elephant skins? That’s the kind of nastiness that really makes me emotional, just like these failed attempts at tastiness:
Banquet Fruit Pie: This eating experience was like thick sludge with small chunks of regurgitated fruit mixed in.
Yoplait Greek Yogurt: Worst. Yogurt. Ever. But don’t just take my word for it. Read the comments sections of the Taste Test and see what other people thought when they tried it for themselves.
Hint Water: If you desire to pay money for stale-tasting flavored water, this is your best bet. But I can sell you some old, stale water at half the price of Hint’s. So you buy from me instead. Yes?
So tell me, what are some of the tastiest and nastiness things you tried this year? (Uhhh…food items only, please)