Wait. What? …how’d they do that? I got me some man food out the freezer case. Then I ate it like a hungry lion chewing on fresh zebra meat. McCain Seasoned Beer Battered Fries are NOT the same as dipping regular fries in a mug of beer, so if that’s what you’ve been doing all this time, you can go ahead and stop now.

These fries are special. They have ahhh-mazing flavor and crispness. And they’re impressively thick and large, with deep ridges where the tasty, seasoned molecules dwell. I even dare me to say that these fries are better than the best restaurant steak fry I ever did eat.

Yep, I just said it.

But please be careful with these. Your flavor sensors might short circuit and attempt to override your “only-in-moderation” eating mechanism. You will be compelled to NOT stop chewing. But since I’m powerful ‘n stuff , I only ate 6 fries, which is less than 1/2 of a serving size.

I’m gonna buy these again and again. And then again some more. This is one crappy food treat you might hold near and dear to your stomachs. In moderation, of course.

BATTERED NOTES

• Price Paid: $3.49 for 1.6 pound bag (it fed 5 people)
• Serving Size: 17 pieces (that’s a lot!)
• Calories: 140
• Fat Calories: 45
• Total Fat:5g
• Sat. Fat: 1g
• Sodium: 310mg
• Carbs: 21g
• Fiber: 2g
• Sugars: 0g
• Protein: 2g

REACTIONS FROM THE TASTE TEST CREW

Health-hater Husband: Ahhh…delicious! Nice and crisp. Excellent product. Make sure you buy these again.

Greedy Kid #1: These are really good.

Greedy Kid #2: Who wants these? I’d rather have regular fries instead.

Greedy Kid #3: I want more fries.

Yum UP! to: Seasoned molecules. That’s a scientific term, my friends.

Yuck Down to: Greedy Kid #2: WTH?

View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.