Just like the breast implants and weave in Beyonce’s hair, Tofutti Cuties are not the real thing – they are some fake azz ice cream sammiches. Cuties are not milk, butterfat or lactose infused. Mister moo-cow got laid off and tofu took its place, but tofu is doing one helluva job.
I can’t tell the difference between a Cutie and real ice cream, and with all this crap I’m hearing about synthetic hormones in cow’s milk (causing colon, breast and prostate tumors), Tofutti Cuties are looking like a good direction for my stomach. But, eh, I can’t do this all the time. They’re too much money for a microscopic 2×3-inch treat, and the sugar overload smacks me silly.
Whoa. Slow down. I’ll buy these on occasional whims, but husband will ignore them always. He proclaims to own a pair of sophisticated taste buds, and he can’t taste a stitch of vanilla bean flavor that’s listed on the label. So what do I know? I guess I’m just a taste-testing bum.
Give Cuties a try at least once in your hungry life. That way, you can cross “eat tofu ice cream” off your bucket list. And then it will look like this: eat tofu ice cream
- Price Paid: $4.79 for 8 (huh?)
- Calories: 130
- Fat Calories: 54
- Total Fat: 6g
- Sat. Fat: 1g
- Sodium: 121mg
- Carbs: 17g
- Fiber: 0g
- Sugars: 9g
- Protein: 2g
REACTIONS FROM THE TASTE TEST CREW
Health-hater Husband: Not bad, but if you like rich vanilla flavor like I do, you’re not gonna be happy.
Greedy Little Sister: No way! This is tofu? I like it.
Greedy Kid #2: What’s tofu? It tastes like regular ice cream.
Greedy Kid #3: I don’t want it. The ice cream part looks strange.
Yum UP! to: Happy colons, breasts and prostates. I wish them all well.
Yuck Down to: The bastard FDA allowing cancer-causing milk. (USA milk is banned in Europe and Canada)