Sometimes these Tastings are so horrifically bad that I can’t bring my brain to focus on writing about it. All I wanna do is scrape the food out of my mouth, dispose of the package, and pretend it never happened.
I’ve done that before.
But that is a disservice. So I give you my apologies.
No frackin’ way I can pretend Lean Cuisine Breakfast Panini never happened. I must shriek the Alarm of Pure Nastiness so you can successfully set your radar gauge to the Don’t Buy It emergency setting.
Who cares if its colorfully impressive with green and red peppers amidst a microscopic portion of egg whites and onions with a cheddar-cheesy sauce on Parmesan infused multi-grain bread? I was deceived by first impressions.
Something strange is going on.
This panini tastes synthetic. It REALLY tastes……synthetic. As if it was designed for a non-human sub species pretending to be like us. It is imposter food meant for space invaders, androids, and robots with human flesh.
Its a dummy-whammy; pretty to the eyeballs to make you drool with anticipation, but then you bite and the flavor is weak, yet strange (except for the ham bits). Then you chew. And the toasty breading is absent of flavor…. A-N-Y type of flavor.
I have a theory, people. Earth has been secretly infiltrated by a non-human species. Lean Cuisine won the contract bid to feed them the Paninis, but it entered the human food supply to increase greedy profits….. Yes?
Stay away from synthetic food. It is not good for you.
….and have you read the package? What the hellz is Diacetyl Tartaric Acid Ester of Mono and Diglycerides, dammit!?
- Price Paid: $2.59 on sale
- Calories: 270
- Fat Calories: 80
- Total Fat: 8g
- Sat. Fat: 2.5g
- Sodium: 380mg
- Carbs: 38g
- Fiber: 5g
- Sugars: 6g
- Protein: 14g
Yum UP! to: Chia Pets….because I want one. So what if I’m off topic.
Yuck Down to: Synthetic foods like Splenda and Aspartame. That is alien.