Fitness Romance SagaTasting! Lean Cuisine Breakfast Panini
May 29th, 2010 • 24 Comments | Leave a Comment »
Sometimes these Tastings are so horrifically bad that I can’t bring my brain to focus on writing about it. All I wanna do is scrape the food out of my mouth, dispose of the package, and pretend it never happened.
I’ve done that before.
But that is a disservice. So I give you my apologies.
No frackin’ way I can pretend Lean Cuisine Breakfast Panini never happened. I must shriek the Alarm of Pure Nastiness so you can successfully set your radar gauge to the Don’t Buy It emergency setting.
Who cares if its colorfully impressive with green and red peppers amidst a microscopic portion of egg whites and onions with a cheddar-cheesy sauce on Parmesan infused multi-grain bread? I was deceived by first impressions.
Something strange is going on.
This panini tastes synthetic. It REALLY tastes……synthetic. As if it was designed for a non-human sub species pretending to be like us. It is imposter food meant for space invaders, androids, and robots with human flesh.
Its a dummy-whammy; pretty to the eyeballs to make you drool with anticipation, but then you bite and the flavor is weak, yet strange (except for the ham bits). Then you chew. And the toasty breading is absent of flavor…. A-N-Y type of flavor.
I have a theory, people. Earth has been secretly infiltrated by a non-human species. Lean Cuisine won the contract bid to feed them the Paninis, but it entered the human food supply to increase greedy profits….. Yes?
Stay away from synthetic food. It is not good for you.
….and have you read the package? What the hellz is Diacetyl Tartaric Acid Ester of Mono and Diglycerides, dammit!?
PANINI NOTES
- Price Paid: $2.59 on sale
- Calories: 270
- Fat Calories: 80
- Total Fat: 8g
- Sat. Fat: 2.5g
- Sodium: 380mg
- Carbs: 38g
- Fiber: 5g
- Sugars: 6g
- Protein: 14g
Yum UP! to: Chia Pets….because I want one. So what if I’m off topic.
Yuck Down to: Synthetic foods like Splenda and Aspartame. That is alien.
View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.
24 Comments
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amanda May 29th, 2010 at 6:17
I use to swear by lean cusine, smart ones, healthy choice etc for prepackaged easy meals. However, all I learned is these things are way over priced, can either taste okay or just plain horrid (anything with fish in it tends to fall in that catergory), and I can make bigger quantity portions for less calories on my own if I cook a meal and freeze into containers for my own “tv dinner” meals. Seriously when was the last time any tv dinner filled up anyone??? Also I wanna point out I could make a way better breakfast for 270 calories!! Sorry to ear your taste buds had to taste that nastiness!! haha
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karen May 29th, 2010 at 6:34
I said it on facebook and I’ll say it here because it’s THAT worth repeating: It’s stuff like this that makes me REALLY glad to be gluten free and have it a non-option!
Sure, there are quite a lot of gluten free foods that are just plain gross but they’re also so expensive that we don’t/can’t buy them anyway. I’ve had to resort mostly to *gasp* cooking and baking and eating (mostly) natural options.
Yeah, having a gluten intolerance issue isn’t fun … but at least I can’t eat alien slop!
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Meegan May 29th, 2010 at 6:34
Gross. I’m sad that your advance taste buds were subjected to such inferior food.
Thanks for the warning!
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Jessica @ How Sweet May 29th, 2010 at 8:40
Yuck. I haven’t had too many frozen meals and this is why!
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Cassie May 29th, 2010 at 9:33
i used to be on weight watchers and lived by lean cuisine and their other frozen meals, but not i stay far away from them.. it’s just not healthy… all the sodium, etc.. very bad…
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Jenn (Jenn's Menu and Lifestyle Blog) May 29th, 2010 at 9:40
I used to eat Lean Cuisine when I first started counting calories and I really liked their cheesesteak paninis, but I can’t say I miss anything else, lol.
Jenn
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Erin May 29th, 2010 at 10:18
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Sonia @ Master of Her Romaine May 29th, 2010 at 15:21
eww! How weird!
So I haven’t gotten any in a while.
I used to get frozen stuff a lot because it always looks so good on the package! But it’s never good inside
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Margaret (Nanny Goats) May 29th, 2010 at 17:36
Thanks for the warning on this one. I will definitely stay away. I’m sorry, but there is no excuse for bread to taste like air. If you can’t taste it, it’s not even remotely close to food.
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ZenLizzie May 29th, 2010 at 17:36
I’ve always been suspicious of frozen sandwiches. I mean, sandwiches are one of the easiest foods to make, why do I need to pay someone to make a sandwich, put it in a box and freeze it?
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Riley May 29th, 2010 at 18:55
Hi Josie! When are you going to do a taste test on the new Orchard Chicken Salad Sub from Subway? I would love to get your opinion!
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Josie Reply:
May 30th, 2010 at 10:58 am
I’ll see if my Subway has it!
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lisa May 29th, 2010 at 21:34
haha this is the reason i rarely buy any brand of organic meals aside from Amy’s or Kashi. I know the ingredients are real, so the taste has to be good. I loove pretty much EVERY amy’s meal i ever tried. organic goodness
Sorry your taste buds had to suffer with this one!
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lisa May 29th, 2010 at 21:36
oops i meant to say buy any brand of *frozen meals, not organic
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JourneyBeyondSurvival May 30th, 2010 at 7:45
You are really funny when there is a bad taste in your mouth!
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Josie Reply:
May 30th, 2010 at 10:58 am
ya, I do get extra happy when the Taste Test is putrid.
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Hayley @ Breath of Fire May 31st, 2010 at 0:15
Hahaha. Thank you for your honesty!
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Marisa May 31st, 2010 at 4:47
Agree with your yuck down – never understood how supposedly healthy people can be so in favour of artifical sweeteners – it makes zero sense to me. I’d much rather eat real sugar than pump my body full of artificial chemicals…
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Sagan May 31st, 2010 at 8:19
Ewwwwww that sounds yucky indeed.
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steena May 31st, 2010 at 11:29
Personally, I’m not a fan of a sandwich in a box. I don’t know why people are so lazy that they can’t get 2 slices of bread & make a sandwich theirself. A lot of those frozen meals can be easily made yourself.
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Kelly @ Healthy Living With Kelly May 31st, 2010 at 11:52
I feel like for the nutritional facts for that sandwich I could make something tens time better and healthier!!
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Pocket June 1st, 2010 at 12:54
I stay away from the frozen food (try to have everything fresh). What’s messed up about the whole thing is what you see on the box and what’s in the box is totally dif
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Lydia aka Ms. MoneyChat June 1st, 2010 at 19:50
hilarious! lol!!!!
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merri June 3rd, 2010 at 15:42
I like splenda. I don’t think I’d like this panini though. I stay away from frozen tv dinner/lunch/breakfasts they NEVER taste good and theyre bad for you as well so wheres the incentive?
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