Health-hater Husband is six years younger than me. He calls me an “Old Bitty” whenever the opportunity strikes.

Old Bitty as defined by Urban Dictionary

“Crazy or lame elderly woman who is out of touch with the world yet thinks she knows something relevant and feels compelled to share it.”

…..so it’s only fitting that this old, mummified bitty is compelled to tell you about Arnold Ancient Grain Bread.

There are no artificial flavors, colors, or preservatives, including zero High Fructose Corny-ness. That’s a good start.

The package says each slice is concocted with a blend of whole wheat and four ancient grains (insert mystical music featuring African drums, Egyptian tambourines, Medieval flutes, and Incan guitars here….do you hear it?)

Quinoa: South American grain used by the Incas with essential amino acids.

Kamut: Khorasan wheat from Eygpt and the fertile buttery crescent. High in protein.

Amaranth: Food plant of Africa. Has 3X more fiber and 5X more iron than wheat.

Spelt: European food staple from Bronze Age to Medieval times. High in protein.

The bread tastes like other Arnold wheats. There’s nothing sensationally different in taste to report. But it’s good that I’m getting the benefits of the ancient ingredients. That’s a pretty cool concept. All 4-grains are sprinkled on top but, unfortunately, only the Quinoa is visible in the actual slices.

ANCIENT NOTES

• Price Paid: $3.99
• Serving Size: 1 slice
• Calories: 110
• Fat Calories: 15
• Total Fat: 1.5g
• Sodium: 170mg
• Carbs: 21g
• Fiber: 3g
• Sugars: 3g (we can’t escape it?)
• Protein: 5g

REACTIONS FROM THE TASTE TEST CREW

Health-hater Husband: Ancient bread? Really?

Greedy Kid #1: But Mom, you ARE an old bitty.

Yum UP! to: Sexy women who rob the cradle.

Yuck Down to: Ancient mermaids. This one didn’t make it.

View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.