Warning: this post is rated MV for “Mild Violence”
Beware of face slaps, body blows, and residual bruising.
My cousin is like my sister. When we were pubescent spawns in the cocoon of adolescence, our verbal disagreements would sometimes morph into all out brawls.
I wanted to be Champion, but my strength was very weak. Cousin put a beat-down on me 98% of the time. But will she ever forget that time I slammed her leg in the car door? I swear it was an accident, yet more than 30 years later, she still thinks it was on purpose.
Why didn’t they have Chobani Champions back then?
I could have used it like Popeye’s spinach; ingesting Greek yogurt goodness to absorb the calcium and protein to get strong and handle my disagreements in a sensible kinda way.
SO WHAT IS IT LIKE?
There is no head-locking or claw scratching involved in the eating of this food. There’s no sugar overload either – just a mild grace of sweetness from evaporated cane juice.
Take note that Chocolate may require an extra boost with NuStevia to sweeten up the cocoa, but the other varieties – Honeynana, Strawnana, and Verryberry – are uber delicious without any sprucing needed.
Forget about big chunks of fruit for a kid to whine about. Champions has fruity specks with happy color. Mix it up to achieve the proper consistency (which is a tad less thick than regular Chobani). It’s nothing like Yoplait Greek, so get your taste buds out the gutter.
I can’t promise that Chobani Champions will prevent your own spawns from fighting, but it will probably keep their Food Traps filled with health-tasty bliss.
Note: You do NOT have to be a kid to eat this stuff. Whether you are child-infested or not, if you love Chobani, give Champions a try.
- Price Paid: $3.89 for a 4-pack
- Serving size: 1 container, 4-ounces
- Calories*: 110 – 120
- Fat Calories*: 15 – 20
- Carbs*: 14g – 17g
- Fiber: Less than 1g
- Sugars*: 13g – 16g
- Protein: 9g
*depending on variety
REACTIONS FROM THE TASTE TEST CREW
Greedy Kid #3: NO! I don’t wanna try it. <— do not be alarmed. This is the same guy that eats Rat Salad.
Greedy Baby happily inhales every variety except Chocolate. If she’s full too soon, I swoop in like a vulture to finish off the leftovers.
Yum UP! to: Slamming your enemy’s leg in a car door. It was an accident, dammit!
Yucky Down to: Child-infestations. 4 is enough for me.