The sugar sludge of my youth is a warm and fuzzy memory. I am (kinda) proud to confess I added way too much REAL sugar to the old school Kool-Aid packets with water. It created a slow-moving goop at the bottom of the pitcher that made gulping to the end a reward.

I drank that fake Cherry juice containing real sugar and I turned out to be a functional adult. But I came to my senses over time and gave up the Kool-Aid.

Now look what that Red Monster has done. He pimps himself out as fake waters “Burstin” with hydration. Why would I feed my family a double whammy that contains both High Fructose Corny-ness AND Sucralose?

What for?

The Kool-Aid Man says Burstin’ Waters are a “sensible solution to hydrate your kids”. Does he think we’re a bunch of stupids? Please, people. Give your kid a real bottle of water instead.

Burstin Waters are an idiotic move for spineless parents who won’t put their foot down on their child’s whiny demands for sweets upon sweets.

Kool-Aid Notes

• Price Paid: $2.50
• Calories: 35
• Total Fat: 0g
• Sodium: 25mg
• Sugars: 9g
• Protein: 0g

Reactions from the Taste Test Crew

Health-hater Husband: Disgustingly sweet. It’s basically sugar water.

Greedy Kid #2: I can taste that fake sugar stuff. That messes it up.

Greedy Kid #3: Where’s the red coloring? I don’t want it.

Yum UP! to: Old school sugar sludge.

Yuck Down to: The Kool-Aid Man.

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