Fitness Romance Saga
Double Stomach Showdown
December 14th, 2009 • No Comments | Leave a Comment »
We had a Holiday Party at the office today. I devoured multiplying cookies and a half ton loaf of warm ‘n crusty french bread slices (with butter). There was other food, but I remained focused on the cookies and bread throughout the festivities.
The food went down into my Double Stomach.
It is comprised of:
- Two Digestive Chambers
- Gastric Juice Mill
- Emergency Crumb Catcher
- Backup Generator
Someone suggested I hollow out my leg and stash more party food in there, but I was afraid my pants would rip, so I didn’t do that.
But that’s not my concern anymore. I came up with some awesome Office Exercise Drills to combat the adverse effects of the Double Stomach.
*Calories burned per minute
- 49 calories: Toe Tapping
- 15 calories: Finger Twirling
- 76 calories: Eye Rolling
- 26 calories: Teeth Snarking
- 14 calories: Chair Fidgeting
- 39 calories: Mind Wandering
- 17 calories: Nit Picking
- 21 calories: Head Nodding
- 99 calories: Hee Hawing
Note: It is highly recommended that all of these drills/exercises be done simultaneously for the greatest calorie burn.
I did these drills so I’m going to be okay. I’m not bloated anymore. It’s a flippin’ miracle.
Too bad my pants ripped. I didn’t know until I got home.
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