Archives for December 2009
The original red box you know so well is made with ground wheat. The new blue-ish box is made with whole grains.
Yet I’m still halfway confused.
Whole Grain Cream of Wheat is eh, okay. I’ll eat up if it’s laying around warm and sugary, or if this guy serves it to me after he rubs my feet and clips my toenails, but I won’t buy it on purpose with my own money ever again.
And no way I’ll eat it if he cooks it up.
It’s good enough to eat to the end, but I want my red box back. The Taste Test Crew, on the other hand, doesn’t mind it at all. And you might like it too.
The whole grain blue-ish box has a faint wheat bread smell and tastes kinda wheat bread-ish too. Slightly. But that ruins it for me.
I just want my red box back. That one is healthy too. If it ain’t broke, why attempt to re-invent into something less superb?
- Price Paid: $4.29 for 1.2 pound box
- Serving Size: 3 Tbsp uncooked (with water)
- Calories: 100
- Fat Calories: 5
- Total Fat: 0.5g
- Sodium: 85mg
- Carbs: 23g
- Fiber: 4g
- Sugars: 0g
- Protein: 4g
I cooked mine up in 1% milk, so that’s extra calories ‘n stuff.
Reactions from the Taste Test Crew
Health-hater Husband: Oh yeah. I’d eat this again.
Greedy Kid #2: I want some more sugar in it.
Greedy House Guest: It’s pretty good.
Yum UP! to: The old school red box.
Yuck Down to: Toenails clippings that shoot across the room.
No one is injured. Yet my brand spankin' new baby is cracked and scraped up from smacking it's azz into my mother's parked car.
I lost my appetite when I saw the damage.
There are times when I've been sad or feeling hurts or just real disappointed, yet I never lost my appetite.
Not since 1994 has a situation had the power to affect my food intake. Even in a downtrodden state I can woof down some grub.
The Car Crash Diet made Josie not want dinner. I ate very little. Because the car got cracked up. Do not talk of cookies or ice cream or chocolates. I don't want any right now.
But, eh. It's only a car. It will get fixed and life moves on. This involuntary Diet will end real soon and suddenly. I'm sure of it.
Have you ever had a situation that, in retrospect, wasn't worth the stress that causes an appetite killer?
Here it is, people – lost footage from December’s holiday greediness.
This time-elapsed photographic account of pie eating gives new meaning to the phrase “pie hole”.
I wanted pie real bad, so I trekked to the grocer on my lunch break and brought back a 6-inch pumpkin. I ate the whole damn thing in a hurry ….but the insanity is over now?
Thank you very much.
And now my ravenous appetite shall voluntarily pause while I focus on the squat, jump, lunge,
run, and twist to destroy all remnants of enlarged fat cells.
I exercised like a beast today; went for a run then stuck some Yoga poses. My kinda-sexy bod is all sore ‘n stuff. I’m up about two pounds this month, but I don’t regret my holiday food fest. How about you?
Warning: If this week’s commentary does not measure up to my hungry name, do not alarmed. I may suffer a bit of delirium from all the burpees, push ups, and ab crunching going on.
The sugar sludge of my youth is a warm and fuzzy memory. I am (kinda) proud to confess I added way too much REAL sugar to the old school Kool-Aid packets with water. It created a slow-moving goop at the bottom of the pitcher that made gulping to the end a reward.
I drank that fake Cherry juice containing real sugar and I turned out to be a functional adult. But I came to my senses over time and gave up the Kool-Aid.
Now look what that Red Monster has done. He pimps himself out as fake waters “Burstin” with hydration. Why would I feed my family a double whammy that contains both High Fructose Corny-ness AND Sucralose?
The Kool-Aid Man says Burstin’ Waters are a “sensible solution to hydrate your kids”. Does he think we’re a bunch of stupids? Please, people. Give your kid a real bottle of water instead.
Burstin Waters are an idiotic move for spineless parents who won’t put their foot down on their child’s whiny demands for sweets upon sweets.
- Price Paid: $2.50
- Calories: 35
- Total Fat: 0g
- Sodium: 25mg
- Sugars: 9g
- Protein: 0g
Reactions from the Taste Test Crew
Health-hater Husband: Disgustingly sweet. It’s basically sugar water.
Greedy Kid #2: I can taste that fake sugar stuff. That messes it up.
Greedy Kid #3: Where’s the red coloring? I don’t want it.
Yum UP! to: Old school sugar sludge.
Yuck Down to: The Kool-Aid Man.
Behold this video of my Cheesecake Flavored Water Stunt.
I am not just a greedy Taste Testing professional. I'm a daredevil too. I perform stupid stunts brave and dangerous acts of Food Inhalation that are NOT for the wuss or the squeamish.
….and I need stunt insurance to protect my double stomachs.
This gut-wrenching trick is also showcased on MizFitOnline's Christmas Virtual Talent Show.
And have yourself one hell of a Christmas with Yum Yucky's 2009 Greedy Guide to the Holidays. 'Cause it's my present to you. So you should read it.
I shall return after Christmas. Love you lots.<< yeah, YOU!