Use code YUMYUCKYFat-So Inc.: A Message From the President
September 12th, 2009 • 11 Comments | Leave a Comment »
I’m lovin’ my new partnership with Fat-So Inc., the innovator of frivolous fabulous health and weight loss products. As the sole marketer of these revolutionary creations, I invited Fat-So Inc. President Gordy Blankenship to share with us why the fake company is becoming a leader in the obesity industry.
Message From the President
Let me tell you something, people. I’m a very smart man. When I saw other companies cashing in on infomercial schemes, weight loss hack-jobs, and exercise doo-dads, I just knew there was room for me.
Fat-So Inc offers quality products that will change your mind about the conventional methods of health and fitness. C’mon, people! Do you really have time for safe, proven techniques? That just won’t do, because we live in America. We want it fast and we want it now. My company caters to the impatient person (like you?) who doesn’t have time to wait for results.
We employ bottom rung top rated scientists to conduct research studies on humans (never animals) and, together with our team of product developers, bring fantastic innovations to the marketplace for my your benefit. Fat-So Inc. recently launched its first campaign for our high tech grocery glasses (the Shademaker 3000) right here on this blog, and thanks to the marketing influence of Yum Yucky, our sales are surging.
We hope you’ll become a customer of Fat-So Inc. in the near future. Stay tuned for our latest innovation, the Duct Tape Diet. Coming soon!
Gordy Blankenship
Fat-So Inc. Research Facility and Product Development Center
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Josie’s translation? Fat-So Inc is a spoof on absurd health and weight loss products that are for sale in real life, but will never ever work. The company is totally fake, but if it weren’t, the impatient people be would be sinking their cash into it like crazy. And I’d be rich?
Photo credits: Andre Blais and Nicholas T
11 Comments
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Jody - Fit at 51 September 12th, 2009 at 22:41
FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But oh so true about the companies out there making money off of people that that want it now, don’t want to do the hard work & keep throwing their hard earned money away. Craziness! Yes, if I had no morals, I could be rich!
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Lance September 12th, 2009 at 22:54
Josie,
You’d be filthy stinkin’ rich…and then you could buy the company research facilities and remodel them to be your home. Looks like a lovely place to start your sprawling estate…
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Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit September 12th, 2009 at 23:57
We need to start up our own mega-corporate-conglomeration, Josie. We’d be rich. Filthy rich! With your brains and resources and my… my… well… hmmmmmmm, I got nothing.
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Kenz @ All The Weigh September 13th, 2009 at 0:03
Yep, you’re right..You’d be rich over night…
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natalie September 13th, 2009 at 2:51
why do we allow ourselves to believe? oh yeah, oh yeah, we get desperate and NEED to believe the only reason we’re still big is NOT because we’ve failed to accomplish our goal. But because we haven’t seent the solution yet, and hopefully here it is….
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noodlegirl September 13th, 2009 at 12:51
How funny! Thanks for coming to my blog I loveee yours I can’t wait to read all the cheat sheet!
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Melanie September 13th, 2009 at 15:17
Love it! Yes, we’d all be filthy rich, but instead we’re rich from your humor – which is a pretty good feeling too.
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Joanna September 13th, 2009 at 20:09
Agreed! There is a lot of snake oil out there! It makes me mad to see people waste their hard earned money on crap. Bottle up some elbow grease people!
End rant.
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Josie September 13th, 2009 at 20:15
Gordy Blankenship invited me to lunch at his beachside home today. His wife served me a plate of BS. It was kinda hard to swallow.
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Josie September 13th, 2009 at 20:17
As if I wouldn’t visit the blog of the woman named noodlegirl??
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cher September 14th, 2009 at 14:04
i’ve never fallen for the gimics. i have fallen for the exercise programs.. slim in 6, hip hop abs, the firm, etc…. but they aren’t a walk in the park, because they DO work you, i just have to kick my lazy butt into gear!!
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