I don’t like to drink my calories, but there were some rouge and unruly cans of juice stalking me every time I went to the store. Whenever I turned around, there were those damn cans eyeballing me with their $1.00 price tag. I thought to myself, “Nope, not interested, I don’t want that crap.” But they wouldn’t leave me alone, so I bought two cans of Essential Alo Juice and I’m only tasting this concoction so I’ll stop being harassed. Where are the food police when you need them?

I shook the can and opened what appeared to be bubble bath. It’s very frothy, but has a nice fruity smell. Then came the big swig that sent me into shock. What the hell are these chunks I’m swallowing? These aren’t little “bits of aloe” like the can says, they’re aloe chunks on steroids and I’m dealing with an infestation! A chunk clung to my lip and others congregated around the mouth of the can. That’s just nasty.

On my next sip I tried to drink with my lips squeezed tight to keep the chunks out, but it didn’t work. This whole experience is bizarre, so it’s ironic that the liquid part of the juice actually tastes delicious. It has a smooth, fruity flavor that attempts to persuade that you could possibly get past the chunkiness. It’s somewhat watered down like Aqua Juice, but has way more flavor. If it wasn’t for the steroid chunks I would end my liquid calorie ban and become a friend of Alo Juice. I tried Mango and Mixfruits flavors before dumping both down the sink.

Alo Notes

• Price Paid  $1.00
• Calories 125
• Sodium 26mg
• Carbs 31g
• Sugars 27g
• Protein 0g

Primarily contains filtered water, fructose, and aloe vera – no imitation sugars.

Reactions from the Taste Test Crew

Health-hater Husband: That’s disgusting! It tastes like pure crap!

Greedy Kid #1: Don’t even think about it. I’m not trying it.

Greedy Kid #2: Ewww! What the heck is that?

Greedy Kid #3: Ewww! Alo Juice (he didn’t taste it, just being a copy cat)

Yum Up! to: The day the food police catch up with Alo Juice.

Yuck Down! to: Aloe chunks on steriods.

On a serious note, aloe juice in general is said to help relieve Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Colitis. Visit the Alo Juice website and Google the phrase “aloe juice health benefits”.

View the complete Taste Test Directory.