As if warm cheese and white crunchlets wasn't enough, the bizarre world of the strange and idiotic is overrun and demanding its very own place at Yum Yucky. So I will Return to Bizarre-O-World on occasion to bring back the chronicles of weird food stuff and fitness stupidity.
My latest trip to Bizarre-O-World led me to Deceptive Juice, Bacon Salt, and Poopie Pie.
Deceptive Juice
Quick! Think fast and tell me what you see. If you think it's a new brand of grape juice, you'll be reeling after the first sip, followed by a courtesy stomach pump at the ER. Why? Because it's not juice. It's floor cleaner! Who was the genius that decided to bottle this pretty, purple liquid and put it in a juice-like container? Somebody's gonna get hurt. I give Wal-Mart a smack down for encouraging the deception with their display. Now how about the daycare that mistook windshield wiper fluid for Kool-Aid and fed it to the kids?
Bacon Salt
Ever tried Bacon Salt? Judging from the nutrition label at BaconSalt.com it appears to be glorified season salt with a generous dose of bacon flavor. Either I'm not keeping up with food culture or the inventors of Bacon Salt are geniuses.
As their motto goes, "Everything Should Taste Like Bacon", thus, the reason their online store also pimps Baconnaise, Bacon Lip Balm, and last but not least, Bacon Lube (which I will not explain in detail for the sake of keeping it Rated G). Is this for real? Go judge the bacon for yourself.
Poopie Pies
Cutie "Poopie" Pies. That's what I call them. It's another marketing fail that needs to go back to the drawing board. Why would I buy pie that looks like its filled with poop? There's nothing about this package that makes me say, "mmm, mmm good". I was grossed out from the moment I saw it. I'm sorry if you're offended, but I'm kinda offended too. Those Cutie Poopie Pie people owe us an apology!
Twitter: truth2beingfit
says:
GROSS!!!!! This is like a segment from Jay Leno when he finds weird stuff at the 99 cent store!!!! Thx for the laugh too!
Hi Josie,
In one visit you found all of this?? All of these are wrong (on many levels!!). I prefer my grape juice to be real grape juice, my bacon to be real bacon, and the pies – I’m not even sure what to think here – except it just looks wrong. I wonder what kinds of marketing geniuses came up with these??
Every single time I go into that store and see that cleaner on display, I have mentioned to the person I am with that it looks like Juice. They used to have a bright orange one in the same container.
It seems like such a stupid idea. Why is our juice so brightly colored anyways? They should choose to either make one or the other ridiculous neon colors!
Oh My Word, so FUNNY! And so not brilliant on the part of those marketing departments.