As if warm cheese and white crunchlets wasn't enough, the bizarre world of the strange and idiotic is overrun and demanding its very own place at Yum Yucky. So I will Return to Bizarre-O-World on occasion to bring back the chronicles of weird food stuff and fitness stupidity.
My latest trip to Bizarre-O-World led me to Deceptive Juice, Bacon Salt, and Poopie Pie.
Quick! Think fast and tell me what you see. If you think it's a new brand of grape juice, you'll be reeling after the first sip, followed by a courtesy stomach pump at the ER. Why? Because it's not juice. It's floor cleaner! Who was the genius that decided to bottle this pretty, purple liquid and put it in a juice-like container? Somebody's gonna get hurt. I give Wal-Mart a smack down for encouraging the deception with their display. Now how about the daycare that mistook windshield wiper fluid for Kool-Aid and fed it to the kids?
Ever tried Bacon Salt? Judging from the nutrition label at BaconSalt.com it appears to be glorified season salt with a generous dose of bacon flavor. Either I'm not keeping up with food culture or the inventors of Bacon Salt are geniuses.
As their motto goes, "Everything Should Taste Like Bacon", thus, the reason their online store also pimps Baconnaise, Bacon Lip Balm, and last but not least, Bacon Lube (which I will not explain in detail for the sake of keeping it Rated G). Is this for real? Go judge the bacon for yourself.
Cutie "Poopie" Pies. That's what I call them. It's another marketing fail that needs to go back to the drawing board. Why would I buy pie that looks like its filled with poop? There's nothing about this package that makes me say, "mmm, mmm good". I was grossed out from the moment I saw it. I'm sorry if you're offended, but I'm kinda offended too. Those Cutie Poopie Pie people owe us an apology!