My Greedy 4 year-old recently revealed to me his not-so-secret delight: "Mom, I like to fart."
Well that's just great son, but when you get to be my age farting takes on new meaning. When you're on an elevator, in a meeting, or riding in the car with a bunch of people, the urgent squeezing of the butt cheeks to achieve maximal containment isn't 100% full-proof.
The "fruits, veggies, and whole-grains only" experiment I did a few weeks back netted me stronger nails, shiny hair and no bloat, yet I was naively unaware that my newfound zeal for beans, soy burgers, mounds of fiber, and veggie & cheese sandwiches would be noxious. I'll pick up some Beano next time. Just a heads up for those of you considering the vegetarian way of life.
If this post is repulsive to the people who claim they never fart (yeah right), call Fart-a-holics Anonymous at 1-800-555-FART. They're now accepting new members.