I know some people strive for the 185-pound mark, and I give major kudos to the people who blasted the fat down to the 185 range with starting numbers in the high 200's and into the 300's.

But me? I started my weight loss journey at 185 pounds. And it was my weight gain threshold. It was the trigger point where something clicked and I decided I would NOT allow myself to gain another pound. I was sick and tired of myself. Namely, the unhealthy habits that were making me fat.

I already showed you the trigger picture that convinced me I had to do something with my body. That post also shows you what I look like right now.

But Look! I found the official "before" pictures that I snapped to kick off my fitness journey.

Back here in 2006 I didn't quite qualify as the poster child for classic obesity, but I was well on my way. What you can't see in this picture is the excessive amount of back fat and inner thigh flab I was sporting. Yet this is more about how I FELT.

I was miserable. My 185 pounds (and climbing) felt tired, sluggish, out of breath, uncontrollably greedy, and unhappy. I had to do something.

After I took these pictures I kicked it down to a low of 145 pounds, but I got knocked up again with a fourth child (thank you, dear husband, for our Greedy Baby) and had to start all over with weight loss.

I have no idea how much I weigh right now. Last year I gave my scale a battery lobotomy because I was tired of being it's slave. I still have some minor fat slab remnants on my stomach (birthing 4 kids will do that to you), and so the fat battle continues. But my newest pants are a size 4. That's a better indicator of my weight loss than some stupid scale.

A lot of people talk "healthy at any size", but I say it's a bunch of crap. My former 185-pounds made me feel like marinated seagull sludge smathered on toasted wombat chips. What's so healthy about that?

I'm keeping The Crumb Snatcher as a regular feature. Now you can stay up to date on all the stupid stuff going on in my life. 

Funk Fumes & Dog Shit

I usually don't use real curse words 'round here, but "shitty" is the only true way to describe it.  Health-hater Husband and Greedy Kid #2 were playing basketball in the driveway. Next think you know, my kid has shit on his hands and husband has it all over his clothes.

How it Happened

After detecting some funk fumes around the hoop, Husband started pointing fingers at the Greedy Kid. Upon further investigation they discovered their basketball had previously rolled into a pile of shit. We don't own a dog, but I'm hoping it indeed was dog shit rather than (maybe) the mailman dumping in our backyard.

They apparently played for a while, passing the ball and making baskets, before noticing they were covered in shit cakes.

Greedy Kid made a beeline for the kitchen sink to try and clean up, but after a few choice phrases, like  "What the hell is your problem, you can't clean that shit in my kitchen sink!", I banished him to the basement sink to get the shit off. Husband was last seen grumpy as shit. What else is new.

Stranded in Snow (kinda)

This was an abrupt reminder that fitness is NOT just about looking sexy-good. Had I not been in some type of physically-fit shape, I would have been screwed.

What Happened?

Health-hater Husband accidentally took my cars keys to work with him. But instead of yelling with demands he leave work to bring me my keys, I decided to trek in the snow. Almost a 1/2 mile. With the kids in tow. To deliver them to daycare and catch a bus.

I carried the 25-pound, squirming Greedy Baby. I had my purse. I had a really heavy bag, and Greedy Kid #3, of course.

The wind was blowing and it was snowing really hard. We had to dang near hike in the middle of the road because the sidewalks were not cleared from the previous storm. AND I did all of this in power-walk fashion because I had to catch the bus. 

By the time I reached my destination I was sweating in my coat and my hair was all jacked up. But it wasn't as bad as this.

So this is the very first time that my physical fitness came in handy for an emergency-type situation. It took a lot of strength and stamina to lug the Greedy Kids in the snow. No way I could do that with my former, extra poundage from couch-azz-ing too much and eating whatever. Congratulations to me.

That is your Crumb Snatcher report. Until next time, this is the Yum Yucky. Have a great weekend.

[photo credit]

I mostly suck wind in the kitchen, but I can pull off a kick-azz lasagna that'll make my family of food-heathens turn wilder. My lasagna-cooking swag is through the roof. Those frozen kinds can't hold a candle to mine.

So here comes the Michael Angelo's Vegetable Lasagna people waving free coupons at me. And FREE is fun, so even if I think it might be nasty, I'm gonna try it. Because it's free.

Eatin' Veggie Lasagna

I was too lazy to cook with pots and pans, so I cracked open the Michael Angelo's. I'm thinking, blah blah blah. I'll eat a boring, frozen, veggie lasagna, then force Husband to make me coffee while I lay on the couch and computer click for two hours. Normal stuff.

First, I noticed the big chunks of veggies that got trapped on top. Surprisingly they weren't microscopic in size, like freaky human eyelash mites. And then I tasted it  – the food, not the mites.

Holy crap, it's like homemade!

Surely I can trick my future dinner guests and pawn this stuff off as my own. It's a delightful concoction of zucchini, squash, carrots, broccoli, mushrooms, and cauliflower mingled with high quality mozzarella and ricotta cheeses in a wonderfully seasoned sauce with Italian spices and al dente pasta. I don't know how they got the noodles to NOT be mushy, but they weren't. 

So now the coupons are gone, but I'm gonna get some more with cash out of my
own pocket. Because this stuff is real good and it empowers me to NOT have to cook. Check out more of Michael Angelo's gourmet goodness here.

Bad parenting moment: It was so good, I gave in to the temptation to eat Greedy Kid #2's piece while he was at basketball practice. And no, I don't remember what he ate when he finally got home. Probably cereal.

Veggie Lasagna Notes

• Store Price: $11.99 for 2-pack family size at BJ's Wholesale
• Serving Size: 1 cup
• Servings per Container: 5
• Calories: 260
• Fat Calories: 90
• Total Fat: 10g
• Sodium: 600mg
• Carbs: 27g
• Fiber: 3g
• Sugars: 8g
• Protein: 15g

Reactions from the Taste Test Crew

Health-hater Husband: High quality. Flavorful. The veggies don't taste sh!tty.

Greedy Kid #1: Very filling. The sauce is delicious. Better than Trader Joe's.

Greedy Kid #2: Why didn't you guys save me any? You know I had practice!

Yum UP! to: Kick-azz veggie lasagna that I don't have to cook myself.

Yuck Down to: Bad parenting moments. Ooops.

View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.

The new Wish Yourself Really Thin Diet is now on the market!

But it comes with a drunk fairy that might screw up a little.

You've been warned.

[photo credit]

Disclaimer: This post is not for everyone, but if it strikes a chord I’m probably talking about
you.

This is tough love, people, so enough with all the whining about, “I don’t have time to exercise because…..”

Blah blah blah! Yes, you DO have time.

You can find the time when you pinpoint where you are WASTING time. But get ready to sacrifice some of your time-wasting indulgences. It’s all in the name of deflated fat cells.

Assess Yourself

Do you whine because there’s no time for fitness, but you have plenty of time for:

• Couch-azz-ing: I love to fuse my azz to the couch and not get up at all, but I limit it to Friday nights. One time I elected to be extra lazy and NOT get my azz up even though I knew I was sitting on the remote. Make Couch-azz-ing a treat, not a habit.

• Toe-picking ‘n stuff: Think you’re too cute to lift weights because you just got your nails done? Or how about the hair-do; don’t want to sweat it out? It’s okay to be a Diva and make yourself pretty, but what about your health? Don’t ya wanna make THAT pretty too?

• Gossip-girling: Always a busy-body in someone else’s business? Unless it’s celebrity gossip, quit yappin’ about others. Gossip creates drama. And drama will distract you from doing something productive. Like exercising. Or holding down a job.

• Computer-clicking: This is a tough one. Josie is guilty.

• TV-watching: Part of the Couch-azz category, except you do it watching TV. So maybe you could unfuse your azz from the couch during commercial breaks and do some push-ups or something.

• Nit-picking: Quit fussing and complaining about what someone else is NOT doing and start focusing on what YOU should be doing. Oh wait…am I nit-picking right now?

• Baby-excuse-ing: Are you a baby-momma with a whole lotta drama ’cause your kid won’t let you exercise? Strap it on your back and run ’round the house with it. Use it as a curl bar. Do some squats while you hug it close. Or just wake up early and get it done while it slumbers. I’m a 4-time baby-momma so I know the ropes. (and sorry for calling your baby an “it”)

• Lazy-dazing: If you’re so tired that you need to laze around all the time, maybe you should take your azz to bed earlier or quit hanging at the bar until 2 a.m.

• Day-dreaming: Twirling your hair as you stare at the chick in fitness magazine, wishing you had her thighs, will NOT get you a pair. Unless you have cash for liposuction. Then you can have her thighs with the quickness.

• Over-sleeping: Please get the hell out of bed.

• Blog-bashing: Some people just love to have those ugly-heated debates and argue in blog comments. If that energy were transformed into exercise, you’d be unstoppable.

• Hee-hawing: Oh wait. You can do this one. It burns 99 calories per minute. I proved it over here.

So you see, there really is time to exercise. Are you a former offender? Or do you need time-waster rehab right now?

[photo credit]