(This is a Greedy Giveaway, so pay attention with your eyeballs)

You don’t have to ring the Taco Bell to get a super fast fix of Mexicano love. I did that one too many times and got food poisoning. So now I’m extra smart and real strategic with my laziness. I concocted a 580 calorie dinner, featuring Spanish Minute Rice. The meal goes from packages to plate in 5 minutes or less with the assistance of the microwave utensil.

LAZY MAN’S MEXICAN (the recipe)

• Spanish Minute Rice, 230 calories per serving (one container): This Spanish version took me by surprise. I didn’t expect much, except some blah-blah boring stuff, but it really stands out for its pleasantly moist consistency. It’s a long grain, parboiled infusion of Spanish seasoning with a blend of red pepper, tomato and onion flavors. Health-hater went beast over it like a warthog on steroids. Gnaw on it as is, or add chunky salsa for extra flair. If sodium makes you shriek, you need to know that each serving contains 420 milligrams.

• Amy’s Especial Burrito, 300 calories: Amy’s is cool. You can actually taste the LACK of artificial crap, but damn, is it bland. Spruce it up with some salsa and sour cream and the flavors start bursting and make you want to chew.

• Newman’s Chunky Salsa: 10 calories for 2 Tbsp

• Penn Maid Light Sour Cream: 40 cal for 2 Tbsp

Total Calories for Lazy Man’s Mexican = 580 calories. That’s not too shabby for dinner in less than 5-minutes. For added flair, use a paper plate and plastic fork.

UP FOR GIVEAWAY GRABS

Ten (10) people who are hungry to try Spanish Minute Rice will each receive two (2) FREE coupons to get some. La-la-la-la-la-bamba! Arriba! Arriba! (that’s Spanish linguistics with Mexican dialects)

HOW DO I WIN IT?

Eh, just leave a comment. You do not have to shed blood or send me your firstborn (I don’t want no ‘mo kids).

Read? Set? WIN!

She tackles tall mounds of laundry with minimal bitching. She headlocks smelly shirts infused with teenage-boy armpit funk. She even hangs the clothes out to dry.

Supah Laundrying Woman has got it goin’ on.

According to About.com, an average 150 pound person will burn 136 calories per hour doing light laundry – that’s simply folding, hanging, and transferring clothes to and from the washer and dryer. This does NOT include dragging the damn laundry from the top floor down to the basement (I need a laundry shoot), carrying heavy-azz loads outside to hang on the line (I need a conveyor belt for transport), and other laundry-associated tasks like putting clean sheets on the beds (I need a maid). So any extra effort, and you’re definitely deflating more fat cells per hour.

I did some hardcore laundrying for 3-hours yesterday. There was sweat droplets and body soreness and rapid heart rates from the upstairs-downstairs foot action because nobody offered to help me. Supah Laundrying Woman endorses the high octane maneuver of eradicating dirty laundry as a functional form of fitness. If you are hindered from your workout because your laundry needs attention, do not fret. It totally counts as exercise.

Important Note: If you aren’t feeling Supah or just don’t wanna be, read How to Install a Laundry Shoot to help minimize your physical activity and increase bloat. Because cutting into your walls to throw dirty underwear down the hole is the easy answer to streamlining household chores. (so why do I wish I had one?)

Before you try that Cookie Diet or swallow some fat burning pills, are you really sure it’s gonna work?

You can tango with the sinister Dr. Diet, but when things don’t work out, don’t be surprised if he adds you to his collection.

[photo: Dan DeChiaro]

I feel sorry for this salon customer, but when I put myself in the business owner’s shoes, I understand their position as well. But can this possibly be handled any differently? Is this discrimination?

from Diets in Review via WSBTV.com

Nail salons are typically a place to relax and celebrate beauty, but for Michelle Fonville of Dekalb, Georgia, her services at Natural Nails on Covington Highway left her feeling humiliated and hurt.

Fonville said that on Monday, August 16, 2010 the salon manager, Kim Tran, gave her a bill for a manicure, pedicure and an eyebrow arch and it was then that she noticed she had been over charged by $5.

“I said, ‘I’ve been overcharged. She may have made an error,’” Fonville told WSBTV. “She broke it down, then told me she charged me $5 more because I was overweight.” Fonville was appalled and tried to reason with Tran.

“I said, Ma’am, you can’t charge me $5 more. That’s discrimination because of my weight,” said Fonville.

According to reports Tran said that Fonville’s surcharge was a result of costly repairs of broken chairs by presumably overweight customers because the chairs have a weight capacity of 200 pounds and were costing her facility $2,500 to fix.

“Do you think that’s fair when we take $24 [for manicure and pedicure] and we have to pay $2,500? Is that fair? No,” Tran asked WSBTV reporter Eric Phillips. Reports show that Tran finally refunded the $5 surcharge, but instructed Fonville to take her business elsewhere.

“I was humiliated. I almost cried. Tears were forming in my eyes,” said Fonville recalling the situation.

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Diets in Review is your online resource for health and weight loss information. More than 1000 reviews, daily diet blog and free healthy recipes. Shape a Healthier You!

Ignorance is blissful, but it may also cause cancer and weight gain and other bad stuff. So this week I made four small changes to what my family puts in their Food Trap. Check out my stealth moves…..

MAPLE SYRUP

If you try 100% of the pure stuff, chances are you’ll NEVER want that other crap on the pancake shelf. According to one of my favorite food reference websites, World’s Healthiest Foods, maple syrup “contains fewer calories and a higher concentration of minerals than honey”. Uh, I didn’t know that. When you go buy the maple stuff, it might make your pockets feel dried up and crusty, but it’s worth the price. Whether you decide to go maple or not, you’re gonna get what you pay for, so just try it.

GRAPE PRESERVES

I used to only look at the calories on the nutrition label, but now I eyeball if it also has High Fructose Cornyness. I’m phasing that crap out of my life as much as possible. Why? Because this Cornyness also fuels cancer cells. I quit buying the infamous Welch’s Grape Jelly to smather on my kids’ peanut butter and jellies. Now they get fancy grape preserves on their sammiches. The Polander brand pictured is sweetened only with natural fruit juices. No refined sugars. No cornyness about it.

ORGANIC MILK

When I hear craziness about acceptable levels of pus (somatic cells) in milk and genetically-engineered bovine growth hormones that make milk a top cancer-causer in the home, I gotta go organic. According to MilkSucks.com, this pus contains a bacteria which is believed to cause Chron’s disease. The FDA does not requires the dairy industry to disclose that their milk has growth hormones, but the proud farmers that don’t use it are happy to boast about it, so look for them saying so on their carton.

Tuscan’s Over the Moon milk gold seal says, “Our farmers pledge NOT to use artificial growth hormones”. A half-gallon of organic milk runs about the same price as a whole gallon of regular milk. This week I paid close to $10 for three, half-gallons of organic. But that doesn’t bother me. I refuse to feed my family tainted cow’s milk. I will also phase in Almond Milk.   

CHICK PEAS

I did something genius until Husband ruined it. Greedy Baby loves sugary dry cereal in a bowl. So instead of giving her Captain Crunch, I put some chickpeas in a bowl, gave it a cool name (Chickie Peas), and told her she’d love it. And she did love it until Husband proclaimed, “Eww! She doesn’t want that stuff!”. Greedy Baby heard him say it. And then she refused take another bite. I am currently on damage control in attempts to salvage this situation so she’ll try it again. Way to go, husband. Good thing Baby loves the Yoga Bread.

So how about you? How will you metamorphosize your Food Trap intake?